Darker shades of Grey
by Marawr
Summary: She just wants to disappear, why won't he let her? Gaasaku. Complete.
1. Broken Promises for Broken Hearts

You said you'd never leave me,

You promised me your heart,

I wish you didn't lie that day,

Coz it tore me all apart.

--

Everyone,

I'm not going to say that I'm sorry… Coz I'm not. Why should I be, it's not like you ever gave a fuck about me anyway… I'm ending this now. Mom and dad, fuck you… I hope you die.

_Sakura. _

"Sakura what are you doing?" asks a stern voice.

"Nothing sir," I mutter looking up to him, I slide the piece of paper carefully under my book and pretend to start work. After a few minutes I lean down on my arms and looks sideways at a boy with dark rimmed eyes and a stone cold look. After a few minutes he tears of a piece of paper from his book and scribbles something before throwing it at me.

_What? _

His writing is messy, or maybe he just doesn't care how it looks, like his hair. The only thing he seems to bother with is his eyes, which were _always _traced with black.

_Hmm nothing…You look different today. What's your name again? _ I throw the note back at him.I never really asked his name, we just sat next to each other because the teacher told us too. He's always interesting to watch as well, not like I ever do my work. I love watching him draw because he doesn't draw normal things. He draws things that have to do with songs, if that makes sense. One time I made him give me a picture he drew of someone in a bathtub with their hand hanging over the side, dripping with blood from their wrists. Also their eyes had thick eyeliner on and next to it, it said "Cut my wrists and black my eyes". He has a good taste in music. I pinned it to my wall in full view for my mom when she came in to get my laundry. Boy did I get a lecture that night.

_Gaara _is all his reply says. I don't bother writing anymore; instead I avert my eyes to the paper he had just gotten out to draw on. He glances at me every few seconds and I stare up at him questioningly; I can't really see it from this angle. After 10 minutes he stops and scribbles out a few lines of text. He hands me the paper and I take it curiously. My eyes dilate against their own will; I glance up at him then back at the paper. He had drawn me, shit it looks just like me, and next to the picture is his unmistakable writing it says

"Torn up photos and lonely nights,

Cursing, crying and drawn out fights,  
Make up, sex and a brand new start,  
Broken promises for broken hearts,"

"Sounds like a cool song," I whisper.

"Not really, the bands pretty shit actually," he mutters back. I lie my head back down on my desk and look up at him.

"I wish I could've gotten to know you," I say in barely a whisper. I sit back up for a few seconds and add something to my note.

_Ps. Say goodbye to Gaara for me and thank him for his drawings._

I fold it up and cross my arms over it before resting my head on my arms again. Why had I even come to class, I sigh heavily and reach down to my bag and pull out my MP3 player and attempt to put it on and listen to it discreetly, to avoid being screamed at by Ibiki-sensei. After successfully putting it on I sit back up and look for the note I'd just folded up. I hiss instinctively under my breath but it ceases when Gaara's pale hand slips it back onto my desk. I look sideways at him, no expression illustrated on my face.

"You could always say Goodbye in person," he mutters to me, looking straight ahead. The bell rings, and I shove my things into my bag and pass by him with haste.

"Goodbye," I mumble, trying hard to keep my voice void of emotion.

After leaving the classroom I almost run down the hallways till I get outside, then I go over the oval to the old toilet blocks. No one ever comes here so it doesn't matter. No one will even notice me go there. I dart in and lock the door of the disabled people's bathroom. The florescent light flickers every few seconds, I glance around at the stale looking room, graffiti covered walls. This was the last thing I was going to see, that's depressing. I slip off my jumper and throw it in the corner and cringe on seeing the deep gouges and scars on my arms. I blink angrily, no way am I gonna die in here, I reach into my bag and pull out a razor and some sleeping pills. I imagine that most people would be scared stiff when they did this, but it was just ritual for me, I'd done this so many times before, but this _would _be the last time. I slowly let the sharp almost intoxicating blade tear slowly through the pathetically fragile skin, then repeating my actions on the other arm. I shakily drop the razor blade into the sink; I open the cap of the jar, pouring a handful of pills into my palms. I swallow them one by one before calmly putting my jumper back on, the blood soaking through the thin fabric. I wince as it rips at the recently opened skin. I pick up my surprisingly heavy bag and walk out. A few metres away from the bathroom there's a big tree, I slump heavily against it and slide down the trunk, tilting my head back as the pain slowly sets in.

"I thought you were ending it," a soft almost shy voice reaches my ears and I open my eyes half a centimetre.

"Go away," I mumble, yanking the note out of my pocket and sitting it on my lap. His eyes wander to my crimson stained sleeves. He then looks me in the eyes, which were still open half a centimetre. He bends down next to me and picks up my left arm, I try to push him off but I'd already lost a considerable amount of blood, and he was stronger. He slowly eases the sleeve of my jacket up and half cringes at the sight before him. I almost smirk.

"I told you to go away," I slur out, the sleeping pills slowly setting in. Too slowly. He ignores my statement and pulls scissors out of the front pocket of his bag. He hacks away at the sleeve of my jumper and then pulls it off and wraps it tightly around my wrists, and then he does the same to my other arm. He raises me up and cradles me in his arms.

"What are you doing?" I try to say, only half the words coming out. He groans something and starts running across the oval, on getting near where people sit I hear many gasps. Suddenly everything fades to black, and I feel nothing.

--

The lines on the note from Gaara were taken from a song called "broken promises for broken heart," by She wants revenge. Haven't actually heard the song but it has nice lyrics, apparently their not very good lol, the poem at the top is by me, yer I'm shit with poems... **It's not a one-shot, that's just chapter 1. . **

Edited by the almighty editing skills of Dan.

(Dan: Yeah right, you barely made any mistakes this time)

**PLEASE REVIEWS!!!**


	2. Wake Up!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did why would I write FAN fiction. Like this.

--

My eyes open slowly and a stabbing pain sinks in, perhaps this is what woke me up. The room I'm in is white, the curtains, linoleum, sheets and tablecloths. It almost sickens me. My eyes linger on the table next to my bed; a few bouquets of flowers and some cards lie there. I try to reach over but my arms hurt to much, I squint my eyes together tightly, cringing as the skin stretches apart slightly when I attempt to move. I make myself reach over anyway and lift up a homemade card. It's simply a piece of card with a drawing scribbled on the front and a small note on the inside that says '_Man you're a fucked up girl, Gaara_'. A malevolent smile grace my lips and they let out a small chuckle. The image on the front is someone hanging from a tree and it makes me laugh even more. A nurse pokes her head into the room and then seeing my smile she comes in. I glare at her.

"I didn't ask you people to save me," she smiles back at me anyway.

"They're trying to put you in rehab,"

"Fuck that, tell them it was an accident or summat,"

"Tell them that your arms were sliced up and you accidentally swallowed half a jar of sleeping pills, they had to pump your stomach,"

"I guessed that already, I'm not going into rehab,"

"Then you'll have to change schools,"

"No way in hell Tsunade," I glare at her even harder, she was one of my mothers friends from high school. I automatically hate anyone who has anything to do with my mother (or father), but I can slightly stand Tsunade; she's different.

"Therapy,"

"No! I'm going back to school, how long have I been here,"

"Four days," she sighs, my eyes widen.

"Shit, okay it was Friday then so it's what, Tuesday or Wednesday?"

"Wednesday, I'm on my late shift, it's only seven AM,"

"Oh, no fucking way. I'm going home,"

"You can't leave!"

"Watch," I scowl picking up my card from Gaara and stumbling out, falling to my knees in the hallway. "Fuck," I curse, bringing my knees up to my chest and leaning against the wall.

"Sakura," Tsunade sighs, she pauses for a moment then "I'll go get your discharge sheets, I'll sign for you, and your parents are away on a business call."

"Heh, so they don't even know about this,"

"We don't have anyway to contact them," she looks at me sympathetically, but I just laugh. She sighs AGAIN and stalks off to the main office. I curl myself up even more, my laughs subside and tears come to the corners of my eyes. I blink them back and crawl into the hospital room and get dressed into a plain black shirt and jeans that Tsunade picked up for me, and shove my keys into my pocket.

After twenty or so minutes Tsunade drops me off at my empty house, doesn't bother me though, I'm used to it being empty. I utter a small thankyou to her before jumping out of the car and standing on the pathway, waiting for her to leave so I can wave her off. Yeah right, I just don't want her ruining the rest of my day, she knew what I did would happen. But then, why did she stop it? Whatever, she's gone now, around the corner and out of my life, for now anyway. I walk up the small path to my house, falling over momentarily once, I must get used to walking, I'm not so good at it at the moment. I reach the door and pull out my keys before opening the door I pull a piece of paper off of it. _'Hurry up and get back to school, everyone's asking me about what happened and it's annoying as fuck, Gaara' _I smile softly, then blink in confusion, he knows where I live? Eh, whatever. I unlock the door and step into my house. Same as always. Dull walls, crap paintings, old TV and couch. I saunter into my bathroom and have shower to wash my hair and get rid of the smell from the hospital and the blood.

On exiting I wrap a towel around myself and then re-dress the bandages on my arms. I stride into my bedroom and slip into grey jeans and a long sleeved black shirt with A.F.I printed on it. I growl under my breath, the shirt only covers three quarters of my arms, I throw on my watch and several armbands on the other wrist. I pull my hair into a loose ponytail and slip on my converse. Slinging a random book and my MP3 into my bag I hitch it onto my left shoulder. Why stay home alone, I might do something I'd regret, I sigh on entering the kitchen I draw out a can of coke from the fridge. Mmmm Breakfast. I walk the long way to school; I don't feel like talking to anyone at the moment. Once I go through the gates people wave at me smiling, I scowl at them and the grins disappear. I stroll casually up to the front doors when friendly arms scoop me up and into a bear hug. A gasp escapes my lungs as I look around desperately to see who it was.

"Oh my god! Sakura-Chan, I was so worried about you, did you get my card?"

"No, I didn't read my cards," I say raising and eyebrow, as he sets me down, his smile disappearing. "Thankyou though Naruto-san,"

He nods sadly and I turn and walk away from him, he trudges back to Kiba and Shikamaru.

"She's not the same since Sasuke died," I overhear him saying. I narrow my eyes and turn to him.

"Don't you fucking blame Sasuke for this you little asshole," I half-yell across the path to him, he looks shocked and hurt. That was harsh, I don't apologise, I just twist back and keep walking up the stairs to the main school building. I rub my temples and shut my eyes for half a second. Next thing I know I'm hurtling down, I tripped over the top step without realising it. Pushing my hands instinctively in front of me to break my fall. It doesn't do much though, on landing my arms feel like they are about to snap and I crumple to the cement anyway, pulling my wrists up to my chest in a tight grip. Two strong arms pull me up from under my arms, once up I don't bother turning, does Naruto not know when to stop. I start up walking in the front doors.

"Well, you're welcome," says a sharp voice.

"Hey Gaara," I mutter, not bothering to turn around, he half jogs to come up next to me.

"Did you get my notes?"

"Yer, very enlightening," I drone, will he not leave me alone?

"Okay… Bye," Thank god.

I give him a backward wave and keep walking; I go out the back doors and sit under a big tree. After a few minutes Tenten comes and sits down next to me, closely followed by Ino I sigh.

"WHAT THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT FOR?!" She screeches. Tenten ignores her and leans her head on my shoulder.

"I'm so glad you're alright," she mumbles. I just sigh again.

"Can you both just leave me alone, fuck Ino, no one likes you, they're just afraid of you," I watch as her pale face goes red in rage. Tenten complies with me request and walks away knowing when she wasn't welcome, but Ino however did have such smarts.

--

Chapter names are songs. You should listen to them. This ones Life on standby by hawthorne heights very goodly to listen to while reading sets a mood and such. Current song: Not good enough for the truth or cliche- Escape the fate.

REVIEWS PLEASE lovert you thanks for the reviews from last time hehe . made me happy


	3. Empty Promises

I sigh and stick my headphones in my ears, drowning her out completely. She yells for a while before looking down and seeing me scribbling in a notebook. She yells something else and storms off, this has happened before, but for different reasons, apparently I stole Sasuke from her last time. I just turn down the volume of her whining and think of something else. It hasn't failed me yet. Problem is if something happened; say people yelling "Oh No! A gunman in the school," I wouldn't hear it, but really I don't see the problem in that. The bell rings out and I only just hear it over the song transition, I throw my notebook back into my bag and trudge slowly across the lawn to the school doors. I have Science now… Gaara's in this class as well. Why I am excited to see him?

Fuck I hate science; it stinks of chemicals in here. As soon as I stepped in the room a mere 15 minutes late I got yelled at. Great start, the fumes are already overwhelming too. The teacher told me to join group C with Shikamaru, Gaara, Ino and… well that's it, Sasuke used to be with us but that all changed. Why does everything in this shit hole remind me of him? It ruins everything. I mutter a lazy unconvincing sorry to the teacher and pull out a seat at the bench, watching as Ino holds a test tube full of orange fluids over a Bunsen burner, she's fuming at Shikamaru at how lazy he is for not helping. Sasuke was right, everyone would forget soon enough. Oh for fucks sake, get him out of my head. Gaara's on the stool next to me fiddling with a pair of safety glasses, scratching them up with a safety pin. He gets frustrated and throws them to the ground; I blink a look of confusion clearly illustrated on my face. He pauses before looking up at me and giving me a rare smile, even though it still looks evil. He raises his eyebrows slightly before causally jumping off his seat and landing on the glasses.

"CRAP!!!" He wails in mock pain, he falls to the ground and looks at me suggestively.

"Oh shit, are you okay?!" I squeal catching on. He winces in pain and I slowly pull him up off the ground, he drapes an arm around my shoulders before I look over at the teacher pleadingly. He rushes over and looks at the ground and at the shattered glass. After sending us off we amble slowly out the door. Once outside the room he picks up his and my bag from the ground, he throws mine at me and pulls his onto his shoulders.

"Thanks I hate science," he says before walking off. I walk after him in silence, we reach outside and he sits under a tree, near where he had found me. He pulls out a pen and an art book; I lean against his shoulder sleepily and watch him sketch. He didn't even flinch, emotionless and totally unreadable as always. After a few minutes he addresses me.

"You know, I did what you did too, no one noticed did they," I blink slowly before moving my head slightly to try and look at him.

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"When?"

"About two months ago," he mumbles, adding some shading to his picture. I'm quiet for a bit, I can't remember even knowing him then.

"That's three people this year,"

"Four," he corrects me; "only two succeeded though…"

"Who's the forth?" his pencil slides threw the middle of his picture, making a dark etch on it. I let my eyes linger on the drawing, four messy ponytails and sharp but kind looking eyes, her lips curled into a small smile.

"Temari, my sister," he mumbled through gritted teeth. I place my hand lightly over his, which rests on the paper still holding the pen tightly.

"When did she…?"

"March," he chokes out as I slowly lift his hand up and pull it away from the paper. I didn't know he was capable of showing emotion. He never has before now. I twist his hand around a bit and let our fingers intertwine. I want to tell him it'll be okay, but I can't, it won't be.

"Why… Why did she have to? S-she," he stumbles a few mutters out, while tightening our hands more. "She was the only one who made me… happy,"

I manage to glance up at his face expecting to see tears, but his eyes had long since been dry.

Silence; it's so tempting to pull out my mp3 but he beats me to it by pulling his out. I follow suit and soon enough people pour out the school doors for first lunch. We get a few looks from some skanks I used to be friends with; I can imagine what they're thinking as they look at us. Me with my head on his shoulder and him with his head leaning on the top of mine and our hands tightly holding each others. Ino passes by with Tenten, Ino scowls at me and Tenten offers a small wave. I don't return it; my eyes are only half open and everything's blurred. Gaara nudges me in the side and I open my eyes fully to look up at him, he speaks but I can't hear, I overlooked that small detail again.

"Pardon?" I ask after pulling my headphones, my ears ringing slightly.

"You used to go out with Uchiha didn't you?" he asks bluntly, I nod shyly, "What happened to him?"

"He jumped," I reply simply.

"Do you know why?"

I think for a while before shaking my head. "I knew he wanted to, he always talked about it…" I pause, "But he promised me he wouldn't leave me, and… Then he… did," I finish bluntly.

--

I'm sorry it took me so long to update, would you believe writers block? Probably not. Chappy name: Empty promises- Behind crimson eyes

Thanks to:

Friesenator, Flamed Rose, Dreamers-Never-Die, Sakura LOVE shadow, overlordofnobodies

For the reviews

AND

Airi-hime, PoyaBaby, alekat101, stream of tears and Friesenator

For alerting D Thanks soooo Much

I really love reviews

And alerters D

Please Review, it'd make me extra happy.

**REVEIWS PLEASE!**

TY Dan (Editor Person.)


	4. Papercut Skin

I flick my head lightly to remove the hair from my eyes; failing (_again_) he drags it behind my ear with his forefinger.

"What about Temari?" I ask after a few minutes.

"Hmm," he ponders thoughtfully, "My mother died giving birth to me… That got her down, she was only little then. Then my father left us when she was 15, that pushed her off the edge and one night she had marks all up her arms," he says softly, bring a hand subconsciously to his wrists. "I only saw them for a moment, 'coz she put on a jacket… but I saw that, _**so**_ many times over the two years after he left…" he pauses longer than usual this time, "Then one night in March, she went out… She never came back,"

Silence follows. Nothing else.

Following several minutes a sharp pain hits me on the side of my thigh, I look up scowling at the blonde wannabe slut who looked half scared before turning and walking away. I groan and look around at everyone walking back into the school block. Gaara steps up before pulling me to my feet, and we walk slowly into the building together. He has one headphone hanging out of his ear in mimic of me.

"Math," I sigh pointing a thumb over my shoulder in indication of where I had to go now. He pointed in the other direction.

"Geography," we stand still for a second, awkward silence enveloping us. Our eyes meet for a moment before we both dart our eyes to the ground.

"I should-" he starts, but I press my lips on his in a small butterfly kiss, before turning quickly and walking off to hide the blush rising on my cheeks. I look over my shoulder briefly to see him stand still for a moment before turning, hands in his pockets and walking away. I turn around just in time to stop myself from bumping into my teacher Asuma. I follow the rest of the class as they enter cautiously into the classroom.

Just after I bother pulling my books out Asuma tells me to pack them up, what the fuck? I pace up to him with my bag swung over my shoulder.

"What?"

"The counsellor wishes to consult you,"

"Are you serious?" I ask incredulously. He looks at me sternly before I turn a storm out of the room.

--

"Are you serious?" Gaara asks a grin cracking onto his face.

"Yes, she went on about all this choose life crap," I growl, his grin dims slightly.

"S'okay, everyone has to go through it,"

"You mean you did too? Right?"

"Mmmm," He mumbles, the smile vanishing, "I'm sick of this shit," he murmurs leaning his head back against the tree we had sat under again. What am I meant to say to that? What do you say when anyone says anything like that… This is just like the time before, I didn't say anything then either. That was the last time I saw Sasuke Uchiha alive. A tear slips down my cheek and drips off my chin, a few follow its descent before I wipe them away. Gaara rocks his head back down to look at me.

"What's wrong?"

"You remind me of him, so much," I mutter, he bites his lip and doesn't reply.

"Did he hurt you?" he asks, I can only just hear him over the music.

"Not physically,"

"I wasn't referring to physical pain,"

I pause before nodding slowly. He looks away and up at the school blocks.

"I'm sorry," he mutters.

"Why did you… stop me the other day," I ask finally, trying to choose my words correctly.

"Because, I wanted to give you a second chance,"

"To do it again?" I interrupt.

"…I guess. I didn't want you to die before finding out that there were still people who wanted you alive, you know?" he says thoughtfully.

"I suppose," I look at my converse and tap the toes together. He starts flicking through his art book, then darts his eyes towards me.

"Do you have any paper?" he asks, I nod and hand him a blank piece of paper. He starts sketching immediately.

"Do you have a mobile?"

"Mmm," he nods.

"Can I have your number?"

"Yer," I wait for him to tell me it. He doesn't, "It's in my pocket, I don't know my number."

I cock my eyebrow at him before reaching into his pocket and opening the flip phone. A small smile appears on my lips.

"I look like shit on life support," I sigh before going into the contact list, he smirks.

"I thought you'd like that," he mumbles adding a little colour onto his picture. He drops his pencils before putting the drawing in his bag.

"Hey, I want to see,"

"Uh, no,"

"Let me see," I moan, I lean over him to get into his bag. He puts a hand just above my chest and pushes me back a bit. I take hold of his wrist to get him off and he winces, I glance at his arm where the slipknot armband had fallen down his arm a fragment. I abandon my attempts to see the drawing as I drag the armband down to reveal what he was covering. My finger trails its way over scars overlapping scars, causing him to flinch and try to withdraw his arm. I look up at him in the eyes, before pulling the armband back down over his wrist.

--

Thankyou for reading, 'fraid that's all for this chapter you'll just have to wait some more

Just got the Hawthorne Heights CD, its very rad. Get it. So's the Escape the Fate CD, Which I got from Ronnie Lovert u bec. I really like it when people review and alert on my story (hint, hint) No I mean it, it makes me smile when I get the new emails from people reading this XD

Kk Thanks, **Marawr. **

Thanks to those 3 who just alerted Muchly appreciated You guys rock.

Bloodied Sand, kristy1452, sad lil' angel

Thanks for the reviews:

Friesenator, overlordofnobodies, dei-san, stream of tears, Dreamers-Never-Die, kristy1452 & sad lil' angel

Want your name in the list then review . Thankyou

**Thanks again to Dan. **

**Reviews PLEASE!!!! **


	5. Meds

Bad Well since people wanted me to update I did

--

I won't mention it; I won't ask him about it, I can't. I pinch the bridge off my nose, trying to get rid of the thought. Wait why am I stressing so much, not like I hadn't guessed it would be like this, like _before…_ and plus freaking out over it would make me a hypocrite… Right? I move away from him a bit and look dead ahead avoiding his wary gaze. Why do they have to be so alike? I don't want to go through the same thing again. He carefully inches towards me and takes my hand off my lap and holds it tightly.

"You know, he mumbles after a minute. "You're the first person I've touched willingly since Temari died," I turn to look at his empty sad eyes and smile weakly, he smiles back, just as softly.

I begin to speak but the school bell rings out over top of voice, drowning it out in signal of last period. I get up reluctantly and wait for him to follow me. On reaching the school block I address him.

"So what was it you were drawing?"

"Sex is fun," He muttered lazily. I blinked in confusion but before I could further question him he turned down a corridor to the left, I stop and watch him walk away. I raise an eyebrow at him before continuing on my way.

I have reached an agreement with my music teacher, and it is that we both have a mutual hate for each other, one whole fucking hour of him going on about how death is not the answer, get a fucking life. Stupid paedophilic wanker then has the nerve to tell the class that people do things like that in order to get attention. That's when I walked out, so now I'm sitting on the bench next to the sink in the girl's bathroom waiting for the home bell to ring. The door swings open and I go to jump down and pretend to be washing my hands and about to leave. Tenten strides in looks at me oddly and walks into one of the cubicles, then backs up a few steps to stare at me. After a moment she goes into her cubicle and shuts the door. She comes out a minute later and washes her hands in the basin next to me before sitting up on the other side of it.

"Why are you sitting in the girl's bathroom?"

"Why are **you**?" I ask in a smartass voice.

"To be able to ask you that…"

"Okay, I'm here coz of that perverted music teacher,"

"Orochi-?"

"Don't even finish that," I sigh, tilting my head back.

"Um, Why not?"

"Coz, I don't even wanna hear his name,"

"…Why do you do that?"

"What?"

"Always act like your better than the rest of us." She says scornfully, jumping down from the bench. I look at her, the hurt clearly written on my face.

"Honestly, it's as if you _did _just do it for attention…"

"Sorry?" I ask suddenly sounding defensive.

"I hate attention seekers…" she mumbles

"I did NOT, you hear **NOT** do it for attention," I glare at her.

"…And I hate…"

"I DIDN'T!"

"…You…" Silent tears trickle down her face as she turns and walks away from me.

"Fuck it Tenten!" I scream after her, I jump off the sink and pace a bit before slamming my foot into the tiled wall. I let my body sink into a curled up position and weep.

I leave twenty minutes later, leaving cracks in the tiles and bruises on my fists. I wait out the front of the school and eventually the red head staggers out and spots me. He notices my hands, swelled up and bruised.

"What…?" He questions softly. I step forward and wrap my arms around him suggestively. He sighs softly and pulls me into a tight embrace. Tears trickle down my pale cheeks. Gaara edges me away from the middle of the path to the side and leans me against the fence, still holding me. "Don't cry," he mumbles softly, leaning back a little to wipe them from under my eyes. I smile weakly and he takes my hand and leads me roughly to my house.

My house is second from the corner of my street, its really good coz I can make sure my parents aren't home. Not that I really have anywhere to go at the moment, I used to stay at Tenten's but I guess that's no longer an option…

Once at the corner I signal him to stop and look around the corner. Safe. I hug Gaara shortly before cutting across my neighbour's yard into my house, he keeps walking and turns left at the next street. I'm so tired, I am always tired, I guess my body just wants me to fall asleep and not wake up. I step into my house and sigh. Always the same, I don't know what made me think it'd be any different from the morning but it was very anti-climactic walking in and seeing the same old shit hole.

I walk into the bathroom and take a shower before resting my palms on the sink to hold myself up. I breathe a restricted but heavy breath before taking out some of the sleeping pills Tsunade hadn't managed to take. I gulp down two before looking at myself in the mirror, disgusted with what I see. I splash some water at the mirror before retreating to my room and collapsing on my bed, shutting my eyes and letting the darkness consume me in a deep sleep.

--

Yay chapter complete, would've taken longer if Dan hadn't kept going on about how he wanted to know what happened Lol Thanks for the editing again Dan person.

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sad lil' angel, Dracos-gurl123, stream of tears, apolla101, Dreamers-Never-Die, kristy1452

Very many thanks to them for reviewing on chapter 4, if you want your name in the list, just review … If not review anyway lol.

Probably mentioned you before but thanks again to those who've alerted so far:

Airi-hime, Bloodied Sand, Friesenator, PoyaBaby, alekat101, demona013, kristy1452, sad lil' angel, stream of tears, **jgirl1984**

I love you guys 

Marawr

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	6. Hold my hand

I wake up and realise that I'm starving; I haven't eaten since… well actually I'm not sure if they even gave me food in the hospital. I don't think I've eaten since then… I hop out of bed and march into the kitchen; on entering I pull open the fridge. I reach in to grasp something but a sharp, irritated voice interrupts me.

"It's a bit late isn't it, or do you not care that you're failing most of your subjects," comes my mother's arrogant voice from behind me. I swivel my head around to look at her, I look back into the fridge, my eye catching on my unbandaged wrists.

I walk out of the room and head for the bathroom, before locking myself inside. I turn the nob on the shower and a jet of cold water floods out, almost at the exact point as pointless tears fall from my eyes. Why is she here? I mean I know it's her house, but I didn't plan on having to see her, yet. I undress before standing under the shower and letting the cold drops pierce my skin. On exiting the bathroom I rush into my room and sling on some clothes (black mainly) and a black and white striped jumper, concealing the newly torn skin. I put my English book in my bag, with a few pens and as per usual my MP3 player (which currently only has half a battery) and an extra set of clothes and random other crap. I yank open my window and swing on leg over the ledge and drop half a foot onto the ground, I swing my other leg over as well before running out the side gate, passed the dying garden, and round the corner of my street.

I guess you could say that my mother and I don't get along very well. She calls me an accident I call her a whore. I swear it was a shotgun wedding, no way would my mom and dad be together otherwise, the only thing they have in common is their hate for me. I lean against my neighbour's fence and slide down it to sit on the ground. My fingers start rapidly tapping at the keys on my mobile, I press send and wait for the 'send complete' to pop up on my screen. My stomach groans in hunger and sends me a slight stabbing pain.

I wince and stare over my shoulder at the pathway going away from the direction of my school; two guys and a girl are standing along the fence of the next block over. One of them whistles at me but I shake it off and stare past them. Within 20 minutes a redhead with dark rimmed eyes walks around the corner of his street and waves shyly at me. One of the boys, Zaku steps forward and blocks Gaara's path, they say a few things to each other but I can't hear them. Gaara laughs loudly at the boy, which in return earns him a strike across the face. His cheek reddens instantly, and his brows furrow, I hop up and walk towards them quickly. Gaara pulls his fist back and rams it into the other teens face, knocking him over. He starts to walk to me but the girl (K_in… I think, she is in my music class_) grabs him by the arm, he turns and glares at her, she flinches under his death stare.

"Don't _touch _me," he growls at her, she lets go instantly and falls into the other boy (_Dosu's_) arms. Dosu wraps his arms protectively around Kin and glares at Gaara.

"Leave," He mutters, Gaara complies and walks over to me.

"Hey," his lips curl slightly, before frowning again, "What's wrong?"

"I just didn't wanna be at home," I mutter, he glances over at my house, noticing the car in my drive.

"Fair enough, you eaten yet?" I shake my head once in response. "Neither, let's go eat," I nod and we walk along my street and towards the shopping district.

"Gaara, its 8:30 there won't be anything open," I remind him once we're only a few blocks away from the café's.

"My brother works at the café next to that music place,"

"You have a brother?"

"Mm," he mumbles, "Kankurou,"

On arriving there he kicks the roller door a few times, hard.

"WE AREN'T OPEN YET!" calls a loud voice.

"Give me some food asshole,"

Good family ties right there.

"Gaara?" The door rolls up a bit and Gaara slips under it, I follow his lead into the musky little coffee shop. His brother is taller than both of us and has purple face paint on; he has black jeans and a big baggy Cradle of Filth t-shirt on. He looks from Gaara to me and then back at Gaara, he raises a suggestive eyebrow but Gaara's face remains sullen. He raises his hand in a peace sign to me.

"Kankurou," he says in greeting.

"Sakura," I smile at him nervously then my eyes linger on the face paint. "I like your make-up,"

"Ha! Surely you jest," he says in an ye olde time voice, "I'm not _that_ gay, it's tattooed on,"

My jaw drops slightly, all of _that _was tattooed? His grin glints and Gaara smirks at me.

"That shit's permanent?"

"Mm, you know Kiba?" I nod, "Yeah he's my tattoo brother, we went and got ours together and we have matching ones on our-"

"She doesn't care about your _boyfriend _Kankurou," Gaara's eyes look harsh. Kankurou scratches the back of his head and blushes lightly, he turns and walks into the kitchen

'_Kiba's gay?' _I mouth at Gaara and he nods subtly.

Kankurou emerges a few minutes later with two ramen cups; he shoves them into our hands before ushering us out coz he had to clean or something. He smiles nicely at me and nods in Gaara's direction before slamming the roller-door shut.

"I walked in on him and Kiba last… Tuesday," he shudders slightly as we walk away, snapping the chopsticks apart and pulling off the lid that keeps the hot air in. He takes a mouthful but I pause before continuing walking.

"Did I see a picture of Temari on the wall in there?" at first he doesn't reply but then he nods once. "She was really pretty," I say thoughtfully, he nods again. I eat some ramen before almost choking when he addresses me.

"Do you know how she died?" his eyes were stone cold and he stood still staring at something.

I shake my head, "Only people in her grade got the assembly, I heard it off a friend in her grade,"

"She hung herself, and guess who found her," his eyes were actually welling up this time. My eyes open wider a bit and he turns to me, a single tear trailing down his cheek. I reach out and take a hold of his hand with my free one.

"Why?" He asks blankly, though not hesitating to hold my hand in return.

"Everything's better when someone holds your hand," I almost smile as i murmer out the frist thing that comes to my head

--

It's actually war make up in the actual series so yeah… don't reference that.

Kk I don't really have the time to put in all my reviewers coz I just got this back from my edity person (Dan) and I gotta go so I thought I'd post it. But thanks as always

**Reviews PLEASE! **


	7. From Yesterday

мαяαωя [[тєиѕнι иσ αмє says:

**I fucking love fangirls they make my day happy **

мαяαωя [[тєиѕнι иσ αмє says:

**listen:**

**wow omg its soo deep! its really good! wow i like it! omg your great! **

мαяαωя [[тєиѕнι иσ αмє says:

**Yay!**

Dan says:

Hehe

--

Taken from the conversation with my Editor . It really does make me SO happy to get reviews from you all. Honest to god :D Keep it up… Really

--

I let go of his hand to take another mouthful of food before putting down the noodle cup onto the café's table in mimic of him. He rubs his eyes a bit while waiting for me and taking my hand again.

"Since when was Kiba gay?" I ask bluntly. He looks at me, traces of astonishment illustrated on his face.

"Forever, he went out with Neji before my brother," My turn to look astonished. Neji was a player, not gay. We start to walk again and Gaara continues his story. "Kankurou used to be straight than a ruler, he used girls too. Temari used to yell at him for it as well, one night he told her he got a girl pregnant and I had to lock myself in my room. She was yelling so loudly and throwing random objects at him, I got hit on the head by a vase," he smiles at the memory, "I went back out once it got quiet and his arms were wrapped around her and she was crying into his chest. As much as they'd never admit it they did love each other it was so obvious," He pauses and I stay quiet, "After… she took he life he cracked. The same marks that were on her arms came onto his and his eyes dimmed as though someone had turned of the lights. Then Kiba came and turned them back on, he held onto my brother even when Kankurou kept pushing him away. After she left I didn't talk, at all… we had to get counselling and they kept on trying to make me say anything just a word. So with no one else, my brother lost all hope. He gave up on me and let all his emotion, bad and good out on Kiba. They just got closer and closer until they were…" he paused again searching for the right word.

"Together," I finish for him and he nods slowly. After walking by a few more blocks I address him again, "…Gaara? Can I stay over you're house tonight?" I ask shyly, he turns to me sympathetically and bites his lip before answering.

"… You," he sighs, "… Can't," he murmurs in a soft shy voice. I look at him curiously but he shows no signs of continuing. I nod slowly and the rest of our walk to school is drowned out by silence.

On entering the schoolyard arms wrap themselves around me and lift me up off the ground, forcing Gaara's hands and mine apart. I refuse the urge to squeal and eventually he places me back on the ground and runs a soft hand through my hair. I take in his persona, scarlet eyes with mysterious lines under them, his hair pulled back into a loose plait except for his bangs which frame his porcelain face. His shirt was plain black and buttoned up-partially and he had grey jeans on with fluoro green converse just visible from under the cuff. Strangely a pinked ruffled short skirt was pulled up over his pants.

"Itachi…?" I ask looking at _his _skirt pointedly. He opens his mouth to answer but another boy crashed into his side, partially answering the question itself.

"Hey baby," Haku flirted, slipping a hand up Itachi's skirt oh so seductively. Itachi laughed sarcastically for a moment before stopping abruptly and pushing Haku off of him.

"I'm sorry I didn't come to see you in hospital, I really should have gotten you some flowers or something," Itachi mumbles looking at the ground. Haku again ruining the moment jumps up from the floor and screams my name before wrapping his arms tightly around my middle and letting his hands trail dangerously low down my back. Itachi grabs him by the back of his shirt (which is a manly pink with "Sing the Sorrow" printed on it) and drags Haku back next to him.

"Calm down small child," Itachi cooed as Haku scowled at him. Gaara just stood there with a bored expression on his face.

"Gaara this is Haku and Itachi," I point at the boys in front of us who wave happily. Gaara half smiles and goes back to being bored.

"I'm _going _tomorrow," Itachi says pointedly, suddenly serious. Haku stops smiling and looks at the ground, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Should I-? " I start.

"Yes," he answers my question before I can even ask it. Itachi looks from me to Gaara before turning and walking slowly away, hands in his pockets. Haku stood nervously in front of us and rocked from his toes to his heels, he laughs nervously before turning and running after Itachi and taking his hand. He wasn't pushed off this time as the older boy returns the gesture by wrapping his finger around his ukes'. A group of girls laugh before calling them names. I growl instinctively under my breath while Itachi gives them the finger and kisses Haku in front of them, they gag and yell some more insults. Gaara puts a hand on my shoulder and I calm down, looking back at him I half smile.

"Don't worry about tonight I'll stay with Itachi," I say. He looks unsurely at me but nods as we both turn to go into the building.

--

Thankyou to all the reviewers from the last chapter and the one before hand:

**Dreamers-Never-Die, stream of tears, evil-neji, kristy1452, sad lil' angel, Sakurakaguya, igan, apolla101& demona013, Ray Ray & **** apolla101**

**And The NEW alerters : **

**igan, sakurablossomx5796 & ashz20**

**Aw Not as many this time :[ Oh well Thanks heaps **

**And the Favers :D: **

**Airi-hime, Dracos-gurl123, Sabaku no Lani, Sakurakaguya, bloodREDhairedGIRL676, igan & taxicatgirl1, **** Lia Silverclaw, avatar-chik,**

**Please Of PLEASE Review… Coz I love you and it will make me update even quicker… :D **


	8. Cemetery Drive

Yu Black cat- Mayday Parade. I stress you listen to it. Well no relevance to fic but it's very good, same with Car underwater by Amour for love.

Okay, on with the story. This chapters longer than usual BTW.

**--**

We arrive at English together and within 5 minutes I'm ushered off by the teacher to go to the student counsellor. Didn't I tell Tsunade I wouldn't put up with this? Complete fuckwits. Pleasant aren't I? Conversation as follows:

Counsellor: "Today we are going to discuss why you did it, okay Sakura?"

Me: "Go to hell,"

Counsellor: "It's this negative attitude that..."

Yeah, then I stopped listening.

I think she continued talking but it's not really a conversation if you don't contribute or pay any attention at all. Actually at one point I got out my phone to call Itachi because he has spares on Thursday morning, but he didn't answer. She didn't even notice. Eventually she looked up at me (texting) and sighed before letting me out. Now I'm walking aimlessly around the school, deciding on whether or not to go to English. I think not.

I lean over a drink tap and take a sip, before fingers jab themselves into my sides. I choke on the water that had slipped down my throat before turning angrily to my 'attacker'.

"Hey watch it! Oh sorry, you didn't answer your phone before,"

"Well, you shouldn't have called me in class time,"

"You don't have class right now,"

"Well, you're meant to be in class so I didn't want you to get in trouble,"

"I was in the counsellor's room, she didn't even notice," I smirk. He sighs deeply and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Irritating as always," Itachi has been like a brother to me ever since I first went to Sasuke's place. I used to stay with him if I was fighting with mom as well as my friends, cause he doesn't have any parents to worry about, they passed away. I can't believe I forgot about that this morning. One track mind I guess.

"I can stay at your house tonight can't I?" I ask, smiling innocently.

"No," he says quickly, smiling in an equal innocence. Yeah right he's never been innocent.

"Okay, can you wait for me at the front gate after school?" I ask

"No again," That means yes.

"Thank you,"

I start to walk away when I hear him mumble 'self-righteous bitch' under his breath. He's watching me walk away; I crane my neck back at him, glaring in mock hate. He smiles before turning and running away from me. I laugh a bit before proceeding to English. Yeah, I'm gonna go anyway, only a few minutes left of this period then I'll have HPE (after lunch).

I knock on the classroom door before opening it a bit; Ibiki glares over at me before nodding as if telling me to go to my seat.

I take my seat next to Gaara and we exchange a small smile before the bell rings and I just have to get back up.

"Good timing that," he mutters, claiming my hand again.

"Apparently I have HPE next, you?" I say after we sit down under the tree we stole from some 8th graders.

"Same,"

"Haha, suck," I pause, "Wait no, that means I'm laughing at myself too doesn't it?"

He merely nods. As per usual he pulls out his art book and starts sketching. After a few minutes I ask him a question that's been irritating me.

"You know how you said Temari left and never came back?"

"Yeah,"

"You also said you were the one to find her,"

"Yeah?"

"How'd you manage that?" I ask stupidly, he puts down his pencil and tilts his head over to look at me.

"When we were little she and I used to go play by the big lake thing in the park. Kankurou and I had to go look for her on the night and I went there first. We had a tree house in a big sort of Willow tree with long branches that went to the ground… that's where I found her, she went where no one could see her," He hesitated before finishing, "…Except for me,"

His face is only a few inches away from mine and I see every emotion conveyed through his dark rimmed eyes, and then he shuts them tightly together.

"There was paper in the front pocket of her blouse and I pulled it out to read it, all it said was sorry and that she loved us, I was so angry, because that's not love, that's not-," his eyes opened half an inch and looked at the ground sadly.

I hesitate a moment before bringing my face up to his and hovering near his lips. He pauses before closing the space between us.

-

After school I sit at the front gate waiting for Itachi to show up, but Haku does first.

"Hi," he smiles warmly. Cheery bastard.

"Hey," I smile back.

"I'm going to Itachi's for a while tonight as well,"

"Are you staying there?" I ask curiously, not meanly.

He shakes his head, "Can't I got fix something for mom later on but I'll be there tomorrow," he says sitting down on the pavement next to me, the other students passing by and give us strange looks. He leans on my shoulder tiredly and plays at the hem of his shirt, his legs lay out across the path for people to jump over. After a few minutes Itachi ambles down the path hands tucked into his pockets, his black messenger bag hanging off his shoulder. On reaching us he pulls a hand out of one of his pockets to pull me up and then Haku, not bothering to let go of Haku's hand after though. We trudge down the path to his house and it takes over an hour because they walk so slowly.

"Movie," I mumble as though it'd explain everything. Itachi nods and follows me into the lounge room. I throw my bag onto the floor near the couch and sit in the big armchair, knowing they'd want the sofa. Haku emerges a minute later with three cans of coke. That was easy. Itachi is kneeling by the DVD rack. He holds up some violent gory piece of shit and I sigh. So does Haku and he goes up and hits Itachi over the head.

"Sakura doesn't like violent stuff, remember when we took her to see Saw IV?" he snickers. "Put in Romeo and Juliet or something."

Itachi heaves a sigh but complies. Itachi sits down at one corner of the couch and Haku lies down, resting his head on Itachi's lap; it seems that they had figured out a comfortable way to sit before now.

By the end of the movie they'd shifted and Haku was curled up closely to Itachi. I sigh before jumping up when they show no signs of movement. I walk out of the room and leave them by themselves (Probably a bad idea).

I walk up the stairs and open a door to a room I don't think I've been in before. Walking in my eyes droop instantly, a photo of Sasuke is hung on the wall right on the other side of the door. My hands tremble slightly as I shut the door behind me. I take short steps towards the desk with Sasuke's photograph above it; I sit down at the chair and look at the other photos sitting upon the desk. A few of him and me, him and Itachi and one of the three of us and Haku. I open one of the draw to the desk and pull out a box. It was full to the top of photos. I look through them wincing at how many had me in them. At the bottom of the box is a small folded up piece of paper I raise an eyebrow at it curiously before lifting it up slowly.

"Bye Sakura!" Haku calls up from the distance. I hear the slam of the door as he leaves. I slowly unfold one side of the paper.

"Sakura, where'd you go?" calls Itachi happily, thumping up the stairs to find me. He walks passed the room I'm in. I unfold the last piece of paper and read the note.

It says;

'_Sakura, I'm sorry I broke our promise, I do love you._

_Itachi, I'm sorry I fucked up, I love you too Nii-san & I forgive you._

_Sasuke."_

I let out a cry and drop the paper on the desk, pushing the chair away from it as if it'd burnt me. Itachi's heavy footsteps run down the hall and open the door. He looks from the desk to me and back to the desk, eyeing the paper. I slump off the chair.

"Shit, I thought you'd hurt yourself." He hurries over to me and squats down in front of me, cupping my chin in his hand. I look up at him reluctantly, tears staining my cheeks.

"I didn't want to read that again…" I murmur looking back at the floor.

He glances at the clock over my shoulder and sighs. He lifts me up before carrying me into his room, he lays me down on his bed and I kick off my shoes before curling up, tears still refusing to stop. He lies down on the other side of me and wraps an arm around my waist protectively.

"It's okay," he whispers in a brotherly way. He keeps whispering reassurances until I fall asleep.

I wake before he does and slip carefully from under his arms, trying not to wake him. I trudge out of his room and downstairs to get my bag. I use the downstairs bathroom and take a long warm shower. I get out and dress myself before leaving my hair out just the way he'd liked it. I throw the towel onto the laundry basket and leave the bathroom. I walk into the kitchen to see Haku, who had evidently let himself in, sitting at the table with a cup of coffee. He was oddly darker than usual; he had black jeans on and a white shirt with black jacket over it. Usually he was more flamboyant than that. As usual he had a spray painted black rose sitting on the table in front of him and a serious expression. He looks up me and half smiles before taking another mouthful of coffee.

"I'm going to go get Itachi," he mumbles before getting up and walking out. I follow him in close proximity but turn and go out the back door into the barely alive garden. Except for one blood red rose bush in the corner. I take the scissors I'd gotten from the kitchen and cut off a few of the roses, taking my time to make sure I get the nicest ones, before walking back inside. Itachi is now sitting at the table deep in thought. Haku plaiting his long hair loosely, once he'd finished Itachi nodded and got up.

"Let's go," he muttered. It's Friday, but today we aren't going to school.

We walk in silence down the few avenues and streets till we finally arrive. This place is so quiet so oddly dark even though it's already ten o'clock. Itachi hesitates in front of the cemetery gates, obviously pondering on whether or not to turn and run. Haku slips his hand into the taller boys and takes a step forward encouragingly. Itachi sighs in defeat and follows after him and I trail behind slowly. After a few more minutes we pass a gravestone that catches my eye, Temari Sabaku. As I walk by it my eyes never glance away until I'm well past it. Haku and Itachi stand still in front of a gravestone next to a big tree. Haku leans down and puts his black rose onto the soil next to Sasuke's gravestone. I do the same but Itachi just stands there for a moment before sinking to the ground.

"So much pain," he murmurs. Haku lets out a small breath and kneels down next to the usually emotionless boy.

--

Thankyou for the reviews everyone I love you muchly, keep it up.

Everyone pray for 30 seconds to Mars to let out a new album.

Also I don't know when I'll next be able to update. Hence longness. Don't worry I won't be too long.

-Marawr.

**Please Review**


	9. I'm Not Okay, I Promise

Haku's arms wrap themselves around the older boy and he rocks him slightly as he had so many times before. I stare down at them. Sad. After many minutes I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. I turn slowly and slip away from the two, quietly. The cemetery was empty, not including the mass amount of people buried there. Apart from that it was always empty; well it is in the middle of the week, I don't know about weekends. We chose never to come here on the weekends, its better not to be seen, not like this, not with tear stained cheeks. A small daisy clings to life on the side of the path. I sit down on the path and touch its fragile petals. I hug my knees to my chest and bury my face in my knees. It's like this every month when we come here, there's no set date we just visit him once a month. It makes me want to cry, but I promised I wouldn't cry. Promised him, promised myself.

It's too hard.

I blink hard to keep them to myself and stand up, brushing the dirt off of myself. I turn to go back to his grave but red catches my eye. I stop mid-turn and look over at the boy with blood red hair and his brother with brown hair standing stationary in front of a grave. I stand there watching them for a moment and he looks up at me. His cyan eyes meeting my emerald ones. He shows no sign of greeting; he just looks into my eyes for a minute, as though saying, 'This is why'. He tears his eyes away from mine to talk to his brother. Kankurou's head is bowed and when he looks up I can see the small tears streaking his cheeks. A pang of guilt hits me so I walk away from them and back to Itachi and Haku. Another pang of guilt hits me on seeing Itachi digging his nails into Haku's arm to calm himself down.

I hasten my step to them and kneel down beside him, slowly prying his hand away from his love. I wrap my fingers in his and he squeezes my hand tightly, gritting his teeth. Haku breathes a short sigh of relief and smiles at me of Itachi's shoulder. Itachi's other hand has a rose in it; being held just as tightly, the thorns cutting his skin and making his hands bleed a little. He lets go of me and puts the bloodstained rose down on the grave before getting up and walking away. Haku raises his eyebrow slightly before jumping up and following him. I get up and brush myself off again before following after them. Following a few steps behind them I glance at Gaara as we pass them. After a moment his pale hand wraps around my arm and pulls me too him. A gasp escapes me, his teal eyes are drawn shut and he stands still, simply holding me. I wrap my arms around him timidly.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs letting go of me.

"It's okay," I murmur just as quietly. I step away from him slowly, his hand catches mine as a leave and he slowly lets it go in defeat.

Once outside the graveyard I see Itachi slumped against its high fence. Haku beside, rubbing his thumb soothingly over the marks the rose had left in Itachi's hand.

I kick Itachi's foot lightly as if to make him stop sulking. He sighs in defeat and stands up, Haku following his lead.

"I need clothes," I mutter randomly.

"Go to your house?" Haku asks in an 'it's-so-obvious' voice.

"What if my parents are there?" I ask the raven-haired boy, his smirk disappears as he remembers past events. He shudders.

"I still have scars," Haku murmurs. He was at my house once. With Itachi. On our lounge… Having fun. Mum came home. That led to the scars.

Itachi starts to walk off, clearly bored.

"You coming?" Haku asks, I shake my head and he waves before following after Itachi.

I watch after them until they are around the corner before slumping against the fencing. I pull my knees up to my chest and prop my forehead against my knees, my arms wrapped around them. A cold shiver runs up my spine, and my breathing becomes a little more restricted.

"You can stay over my house tonight though," a cool voice says from above me, I blank out, what is he talking about? Then I realise that he's just picked up on our conversation from the previous day. I nod my head into my knees and hear he and his brother's footsteps walking away from me.

After almost half an hour I drag myself up and wander along the streets to my house.

I peer around the corner of my street, pleased to see no car in the driveway. I walk up to my house, go through the side gate and clamber in through my window. I take a few things outta my drawers and shove them in a bag I found on the floor. On my bedside table there's a note from mom it says; "_I am very disappointed in you. - Mom." _Haha! I am very disappointed in me too mom. I climb back out my window and walk slowly down the street and around the corner. I think this is Gaara's street… I don't know where he lives though; maybe if I wander up and down the street for a while yelling his name I'll find his house. It's worked once before. I start walking and after a minute of calling his name Kankurou's head leans out of a house.

"Shut up!" He yells. I skip over to him and bend over the window frame.

"Is Gaara in?" I ask boredly. He looks me up and down slowly, pausing on some spots longer than others.

"Kankurou where's the-?" Gaara walks through the door looking around. He spots me and raises his hand in an awkward greeting. Kankurou is still looking at me, but now he's smiling softly. Gaara walks out of the room and a moment later the front door clicks open. I walk over to him slowly, holding my bag in front of me.

"Hey." He says, smiling a bit.

"You're a really loud yeller," says Kankurou, leaning against the doorframe.

"It's just a talent I have," I smile weakly. He cracks a grin before looking at my bag, then up at Gaara a suggestive smirk poised on his lips. Gaara glares back as his brother attempts to smile innocently. I stand there blankly not sure whether to frown or laugh.

"Is she your-?" Kankurou starts.

"She's staying here tonight," Gaara interrupts. I smile a little before stepping past them and looking around. Kankurou twists his body around to face my back and starts playing with my hair in an irritating way.

"So, pinky welcome home," he said joyfully, as though he'd replaced his sister with me. Gaara must've noticed too coz he sighed heavily.

--

Thanks for the reviews everyone!! Reviewers from the last two chapters:

ReisLilNekojin, Ray Ray, stream of tears, avatar-chik, MarionetteLuver, Dreamers-NeverDie, kristy1452

Dreamers-Never-Die, Thegoldenlock, stream of tears, avatar-chik, kristy1452, Ray Ray, demona013

**Thankyou for taking the time to review!!!!**

Thanks to the people who alerter and faved this story, I will do a list of all who reviewd alerted etc. at the end of the story its just aggravating coz they don't tell you when new people alerted on they just tell u the list all up.

-Marawr

**PLEASE REVIEW!!**


	10. Fight!

_Good song Cellar Door – Escape the Fate, though, all their stuff is good. _

--

Kankurou continued to twirl my hair for a moment before stopping abruptly, realising what he was doing and letting my rosé hair fall limp. After a long stretch of silence, in which Gaara had seemed to blank out in, the phone rang and Kankurou dashed away to get it. The phone seems to have brought Gaara back to the present as well as he jolted before looking at me.

I raise an eyebrow at him and he just shrugs and pulls at my wrist encouragingly. I follow him into a corner of the house furthest away from the front door. He leads my into a room next to the last room.

"My rooms right next door, so if you need anything just, yeah…" He finishes in an uneasy way, as though he was unsure how to end his proposal. I drop my bag on the ground heavily and start to turn back to him before stopping.

"Hmm, I left my bag at Itachi's house…" I say in realisation. He looks at my bag pointedly and I answer his unvoiced question, "My **other **bag,"

"Do you want to go get it?" he asks uncertainly.

"He lives on the other side of town," Gaara merely shrugs.

"That's over an hour away?" Okay, lie, but almost an hour…

He pauses before plastering a bored, almost irritated, look over his face. I sigh slightly.

"Fine," I huff in utter defeat. He smirks a little before gesturing towards the front door with a nod of his head. We walk down the edge of the road and around a corner towards Itachi's house. Halfway down the street a trio of people stand boredly, blocking the path. Gaara envelops his hand with mine and we continue walking. On reaching them we try to keep walking by but Zaku steps in front of us, his arms crossed over his chest, smirking. He's a little bit taller then Gaara and a fair bit taller then me.

"You're that little prick from the other day, aren't you?"

"And his little emo skank girlfriend, tsk, tsk why aren't you at school?" came Kin's sneering voice from the fence she was sitting on next to Dosu. Gaara snarls under his breath before tightening his grip around my hand. Gaara takes a step forward and Zaku takes a step back in imitation. He grins widely and stretches his arms out warmly.

"Group hug!" He cries randomly and before we can protest his arms wrap around us in a backbreaking hug. Quite literally. His large arms envelope us tightly and it feels as though my chest has caved in. My breathing quickens as I try to keep myself _alive, _at the least. It appears to be the same for Gaara but he holds his breath. I manage to wriggle myself into an (awkward) position. I kick my foot between his legs and push myself back away from him, almost falling over in the process.

"_Little bitch," _he sneers under his breath. He lunges forward and strikes me hard against my cheek before doubling over in pain. I glance over at Gaara who is breathing heavily and glaring at Kin and Dosu, who sit emotionless on the fence.

"Let's go," he mumbles finally, holding out his hand to me. I take the redheads hand and we continue down the path until we reach a little playground. He tells me to sit down on the swing and I comply, he kneels to be at my level and looks at the red mark on my cheek. His fingertips trail over it and I wince slightly at the contact. A slight gust of wind pushes the swing towards him a fraction, pushing his fingers onto my skin more harshly. I jerk my head away from him quickly and he retracts his fingertips from near my face.

"Sorry," he murmurs.

"Can we go now?" I ask softly. He nods slowly before standing up. We walk along the path together, not touching except for the occasional brush of the hand due to close proximity.

After several minutes of strolling towards Itachi's place I suddenly think of something...

Ever had someone say something to you and not know what to reply with until hours, even days later? I just got that.

"I'm sick of it too," I mumble. He looks sideways at me, then back at the path before returning his gaze to me.

"Please, don't leave me…" he says uncertainly. I smile meekly.

"Not yet," I smile, he returns it apprehensively and a long stretch of silence follows till we reach Itachi's house.

I stop dead in my tracks and shudder slightly. Loud music erupted from the house. It wasn't the music that was bad, in fact the music was very good. Orange Range music belted out from inside the house.

"Hmm?" Gaara drones as if asking what was wrong.

"We should come back later,"

"Why?"

"Guess," I murmur after hearing a loud squeel from inside.

"Oh?" he asks curiously.

"_Stop it!! Bakaa!" _cried Haku from inside, barely audible over the song transition.

"…Ohhhh," Says Gaara in realisation, his eyes wider then usual. I nod slowly.

"Hn, come on, just knock," he says in frustration.

"Noooo… you knock," I back away from the door slowly.

He sighs heavily before opening the door, not bothering to knock. My eyes widen now.

"Wait, what do you think you're doing??"

"Getting your bag," he said as if it justified everything.

"You know what they're doing don't you?"

"Can't be worse than what I've seen my brother do," he shudders involuntarily before going inside. He reappeared a minute later with my bag. He squeezes his eyes shut. "It was worse than what my brother does." He states.

--

Ahhh I truly love you. All of you, thankyou SO much for reading my fic puppy dog eyes

Thankyou reviews:

**DremersNeverDie**, No, I don't have any idea what your going on about lol.

**avatar-chik** – Thankyou so much for reviewing all the time

**stream of tears**** – **Ooh Yes, very interesting rolls eyes not sure if you understood what it symbolized with the Kankurou bit but oh well.

**Panda-Chan21**** – **wow, I **LOVE** you. Thankyou so much.

**shurikengrl**** – **Omg! Thankyou for Reviewing on every chapter so far

**jgirl1984**** – **Thankyou . Why not? Lol, just to add to the storyline. I didn't want to make any Oc's if I could avoid it.

**MarionetteLuver**–I just love MCR fullstop lol my friends going to their concert lol. And thankyou.

**apolla101**** – **Thankyou thankyou thankyou.

**Sora Inu-chan** – Thankyou so very muich!!! And I will try and force myself to right cause instead :D Nah I'll just make my ed do it lol.

**Akuma Chiai**** – **Thankyou, your to good to me lol.

**kristy1452**** – **Thanks and sorry it took so long.

**ray ray – **Thanks my beloved junkie.

**demona013**** – **N'awwwww don't cry (slash pretend to lol)

**Dan - Thankyou as always your a fecking awesome editor and an even better slave. thanks**

**Thankyou for the reviews. && Man that took a while lol. **

**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	11. Was It A Dream?

**This is SO dedicated to Raytch because she's my rad LITTLE (ahaha) um… Insert affectionate nickname here Too bad it's not all that great a chapter, && I know I say that about most my chapters but… Yeah.**

--

It's really awkward eating at Gaara's house, strangely darker and quieter than most places. His brother ordered us some pizza before leaving to visit Kiba. Gaara just sort of sat there staring blankly at a wall, taking a bite of pizza every so often. I cough lightly and he jumps at the sudden noise and turns to me, no clear emotion conveyed on his face. I only look out of the corner of my eye though, trying to avoid eye contact. For a split second I thought I saw Sasuke's eyes staring out through his. I blink hard and turn to him to make sure I was just seeing things. I smile weakly, seeing that I was just hallucinating. He raises an eyebrow.

"What?" his husky voice asks softly

"Smile, it confuses people," I quote off of Ino's Myspace background. Sad isn't it? Even sadder that I hate Myspace but I'm still addicted. He furrows his brow in confusion

"…O-Kay," he mutters. He leans back in his chair before slamming its feet onto the ground and getting up. "I'm gonna go have a shower…"

"Kay," I murmur, not realising that I'd be practically alone in his house for a while. He sticks his hands in his pockets before walking out.

"Don't burn the house down," he says seriously before disappearing into a random room.

After a couple of minutes sitting in silence a loud scrape sounds across the side of the house. I jump up and walk hurriedly to the front door; locking it before rushing into the spare room I'd chucked my junk in. Stupid paranoia. I slip down onto the single bed and put my hands under my head and wait for my turn in the bathroom.

A few minutes pass before a wet redhead in a towel slips his head through my door.

"You okay? Why's the door locked?"

"Fine, yeah… that, I thought I heard something," I say awkwardly a small tint of pink surfacing on my cheeks. He raises an eyebrow at me before shrugging and turning away. "Okay, I'm gonna have a shower now," I say, heading for the room he'd just come out of.

"Towels are under the sink," he states bluntly going into his room.

I drop my small bag onto the tiled floor and slip my clothes off before getting into the shower.

On getting out I pull on my sleeping wear, consisting of an oversized t-shirt and boxers. I shove my dirty clothes into my bag and leave the room, shutting the door behind me. I put the bag in the spare room before going to Gaara's doorway; I knock lightly on the half-open door and peer in. He looks up from his book at me.

"I'm gonna go to sleep now," I smile in at him. He glances at the clock on his bedside table then nods slowly.

"Goodnight," he mumbles, before turning back to his novel. I bite my lip before turning and walking back into the neighbouring room.

It takes me ages to get to sleep without my pills but tonight it doesn't I'm asleep within the minute of putting my head onto the pillow. The bad thing about going to sleep normally is that I dream, I used to love dreaming, it took away the pain of the real world. But now it haunts me.

His voice echoes through my head, he says what he did the last time I saw him, and I want to tell him not to do it but it fades out and then I see him again but he's not breathing.

Usually I wake up then but tonight was different, it included different things. A voice still echoes throughout my dreams and its coming from his mouth but it isn't Sasuke's voice, it's Gaara's. It fades out as usual to his body lying lifeless on the pavement next to a high building, people surrounding him a thin strip of plastic rope separating us from him. I break through it, as I did on the day it happened and I kneel down next to him, I roll him over and his lips mouth something to me before his eyes shut completely. But then his body flickers into someone elses and instead of clutching a raven-haired boy, I have a crimson haired one in my hands.

I wake to a start, my whole body is shaking and silent tears stream down my cheeks. I sit myself up straight and hug my knees to my chest. I drag my fingers through my rose coloured hair before dropping my legs off of the side of the bed, I lean my head on my hands which are propped up on my knees. I wait for the trembling to subside, just a little if anything, after a few minutes I sigh; still shaking I wipe my eyes and get up.

"Gaara?"

"Hmm?" he looks up from his book, a great deal further into it then last time I was in here. I stand awkwardly still for a moment, tears still trickling down my cheeks slowly. His eyes pause on my trembling frame and tearstained cheeks before pulling up the blankets, as if offering to let me in. I take a hesitant step forward towards him.

I lean my face on his chest and hold onto a piece of his shirt tightly. He rests his book open on the table next to his bed and flicks off the light, before letting his arms wrap around me protectively.

--

_Drawn to my attention that Kiba is a dog boy and Kankurou is a pervert, now comes the question what was Ita and Haku doing that could be worse then them. I'm freaking myself out 0.0 && boy is the new mature filter thing on DA annoying me. _

_18 – Need it still be in your name Dan?... That's pretty depressing ___

_(Dan: gomenesai)_

"Sasuke grabbed the nearest object, which just happened to be an Encyclopaedia Britannica, and bashed it over Naruto's head."  It's really funny

Chapter name-Was it a dream? – 30 seconds to Mars

Lol Anyway, thankyou for the Reviews and alerts it means a lot to me.

REVIEWS PLEASE 


	12. A Love Lost Can Be Beautiful

I stir slowly, my eyes blink open for a second before I shut them again and bury myself deeper under the duvet, pulling myself closer to the centre of warmth. His arms still wrapped around me flinch at the movement before closing more tightly around me. I leave my eyes shut before speaking to him softly.

"Did I wake you?" I ask.

"No… I don't sleep, it's okay,"

"You don't?

"No," he replies simply. "You sleep for a long time," he adds looking at the clock over my shoulder.

"How long?"

"About ten hours," he shrugged and I felt his muscles move.

"Huh?? Then what time is it?"

"10," he says, I sigh softly.

I hear Gaara's door being jerked open. I twist my body around to look and I see Kankurou standing there, a smirk plastered across his face.

"I thought I heard voices," he said. _Cocky bastard. _

"You thought correctly," Gaara murmured to his brother who seemed rather cut that he didn't receive any insults.

"What were you two doing while I was out?" he said, his smirk only growing, with his already enlarged ego.

"Sakura _slept_," said Gaara, putting emphasis on 'slept'. "I _read_,"

"Well that's boring," Kankurou scowled.

"What were you doing at Kiba's?" I ask, finally finding my voice. His cheeks reddened quickly.

"We played cards," he said slowly, his blush diminishing.

"What game?" I press on.

"Go fish," he shrugged.

"Likely story," Gaara murmured only loud enough for me to hear.

"Likely story," I repeat Gaara's murmur. "Since when did they change Strip poker's name?" I ask. Revenge is sweet. Kankurou blushed again, then raised a finger to his mouth in hush.

"You must be hungry, _considering __**you **__didn't eat anything last night," _he mumbled the last bit but I still heard, so did Gaara apparently because he sighed impatiently and released me.

"_Pervert_," I mutter to myself

"Food," said Kankurou, pointing in the direction of the kitchen. He walks off and I slam my head back down onto the pillow. I wipe under my eyes, a fair bit of eyeliner catching on my fingertips. I pull Gaara's pillow over my head as soon as Kankurou's voice sings to us down the hall.

"You've slept long enough," Gaara sighed pulling me up by my middle. I let my whole body go limp to weigh me down, but he still lifted me easily. I let my legs fall lazily off the side of his bed before trying to get up. To early, I sigh before falling straight back down onto his bed.

"Are you that weak?" he says calmly. I slump backwards onto him, eyes shut to illustrate how tired I was. I hear him laugh a little and I open my eyes warily. He looks down at me, smirking. In one quick movement he scoops me up and carries me out of the room. I pout indignantly as he carries me into the kitchen. Kankurou glances over his shoulder at us then back to the stove before looking back again and staring in disbelief.

"What.. The hell?" he said slowly. Gaara just rolled his eyes before dropping me onto one of the chairs. I lean myself against the table, my hand supporting me so I didn't fall back asleep.

Kankurou kept looking from his brother to me inquisitively until of course whatever he was cooking started to burn. He turned back, cursing under his breath and through it in the bin.

"I hope you like pancakes," he said after ten minutes, putting a plate under Gaara's face and mine.

"I hate pancakes," Gaara said loudly. His brothers eyes narrowed and Gaara gulped before starting to eat.

"Pancakes are fine," I say pointedly.

"See my annoying little otōto, she appreciates me,"

"I never said that," I murmur, and Gaara smirks at his plate. Kankurou sighs and finishes his coffee.

"I gotta go to work, bye,"

"Seeya, thanks for the breakfast," says the redhead.

"Yeah thanks," I say prodding the food to make sure it wasn't alive. Kankurou raises an eyebrow before sighing in frustration and leaving.

I push the plate away from me and yawn.

"I'm tired," I mumble.

"hn,"

"Very tired," I continue. He looks at me awkwardly before giving me the thumbs up. I drag myself up and walk into the lounge room, collapsing onto the couch.

"Do you really need to sleep that badly?" Gaara asks softly. I open my eyes before shutting them and nodding slowly. He lifts me back up again and carries me into his room. He lays me down carefully onto his bed and pulls the duvet over me. Within minutes everything fades out and I sleep, dreamless.

When I wake, I look down at the ground in front of me and see a mass of red hair. Gaara sits cross legged on the ground next to the bed, a sketch book sat on his lap. I blink a couple of times to focus on the picture. My eyes, which had widened to be able to see properly, softened at the picture of his sister. His hand lies unmoving on the tip of one of her strands of hair. I pull my hand from under the duvet and pull his hand away from the paper, holding it lightly in mine.

"We should go for a walk," I whisper. He shuts his book and sets it down next to himself. I stand up and walk into the spare room. Changing my clothes and putting on my shoes. I walk out and he's pulling on his jacket.

"Where are we going?" he asks.

"I wanna show you a place I like to go," I say, wiping the sleep from my eyes. "You'll like it,"

He nods and we walk out together. We walk straight past Dosu and his gang without interruption today and I lead Gaara slowly towards the graveyard.

We walk slowly past the recent gravestones towards the back of the cemetery where old cement angel's guard peoples graves. The tombstones grown over with vines and moss. None of the people this far back would have anyone to remember them, that's how old they were. He climbs over the fence at the rear of the cemetery and helps me get over it after him. I lead him through the thick grass covering the small field. Walking down the slant of the field we reach a brook, with willows along the bank. He smiles softly.

"You're right, I do like it," He pauses. "I think I've been here before,"

"Temari?"

"She loved these tree's," he said softly, sitting down on the grass under one. I sat down next to him and leant against his shoulder, silence consuming us again.

--

My computer is being stupid, so it's taking me longer to update, sorta 

Awww Only 7 reviews on the last chapter :( That makes me sad

Thankyou to the people who actually bother/ed (**Hint hint):**

sad lil' angel- Thankyou very much…

apolla101- Lol that's okay, thankyou for taking the time

stream of tears- Only a little bit lol

demona013- Thanks . 

avatar-chik- Aww thanks, and hehe you feel sorry for a character(2d at that)

super-rat- I updated see :)

kristy1452- New chapters make me happy too and look! Another one!

Oh and MANY MANY MANY thankyou's to those who subscribed to this story

Please review


	13. But Home Is Nowhere

This chapter is dedicated to Friesenator who was my hundredth reveiwer. To bad your getting a dodgy chapter dedicated to you :/

--

Boring, must speak, no stay quiet, your going to ruin the moment. The moment was over twenty minutes ago. Silently battling myself over whether or not to speak. He was looking at the water sorta hypnotized; his eyes looked glazed over, deep in thought. I open my mouth to speak and he looks at me sideways. I shut my mouth and he smirks. I pout subconsciously, over-confident prick. Must try and stop insulting people in my head. His lips on mine interrupted my thoughts. His weight slowly pushing me back down onto the grass. My eyes wide in shock. That was sudden, my eyes suddenly remember that they're meant to shut and they do so slowly. My arm slinks around him, pulling him closer…

I leave him that evening, turning down my street in a slightly pleasant mood, sure that I can put up with mum thanks to the afternoon. I open the front door, a smile plastered across my face. I half skip, half walk into the kitchen and open the fridge to get myself a coke.

"Why are you so happy?" Comes my mother's irritated voice.

"Hmm?"

"You think you can just come back here after three days and expect to be able to stay?" she states, her voice hoarse. I glance over my shoulder, my smile disappears. Didn't take too long did it? My eyelids sink, not shut, and not entirely open either. Her rose coloured hair is messy and her make-up stains below her eyes. I put the unopened coke can back in the fridge and mumble 'I'm going to go take a shower', she furrowes her brow and holds onto her wine glass so tightly it as though it's about to shatter. An empty bottle of wine and another of vodka lie on the ground next to her chair.

"Answer me!" She demands, I back away slowly, she stands up and matches my footing.

"_Mum, stop," _I murmur in a quiet, scared voice. She brings her hand up and swings it down across my face. Tears prick up in the corners of my eyes.

"_Shut up,_" she hisses, her breath stinks of liquor. "Where have you been?!"

"You have no right to ask me that," my voice still shy, if, slightly scattered. "You're hardly ever here,"

"AND YOU WONDER WHY?" She yells, her close proximity making it sound ten times louder. I hate her when she's like this; it makes me hate her when she's not. She's like a fucking animal, attacking its prey. She is why I don't get pissed... _Well, not that often…_

"Where have you been?"

"I went to the cemetery with Itachi," She looks thoughtful for a second, trying to think of something to say in reply. She obviously can't because she just brings her hand across my face again.

"Don't lie," she says through gritted teeth. The tears break through their barrier and spill over my cheeks.

"I'm not lying," I say loudly. She just silences me with another hit, harder this time, much harder. She has me backed up against the kitchen counter now. I fumble my hand behind my back trying to find something to throw at her, preferably a knife. No prevail, I find an apple and peg it at her forehead. The shock makes her take a step back.

Seizing the chance I run into my room and lock it. I attempt to push my drawers in front of the door but it doesn't work so I wedge a chair under the handle. I don't bother with the window; she's to out of it to even think of that. I drop my bags to the floor, should've thrown them at her. Didn't think of it though. I fall down onto the side of my bed, using my knee to rest my arm on to prop me up. I drag my hand through my hair, before closing my fingers around the messy locks and pulling. I stand up and kick the wall before pulling my drawers open quickly; I take a couple of sets of clothes and put my phone on to charge for the half hour before I leave. Mum has finished bashing against the door and I hear her walking back to her drinks.

I search through my desk for my wallet and opening it I smile weakly. She hadn't bothered to take my money, awesome. I only have $30 but that's enough. I throw my Stanley knife in my bag. You don't walk around my neighbourhood at night unless you have something to protect yourself with. I'm not afraid of being stabbed, I'm scared of someone taking advantage of me and then stabbing me. I spray myself with a heck of a lot of deodorant before throwing that in my bag as well. I change my clothes and pull on a black hoodie so I'm not too noticeable, the rose coloured hair isn't very helpful. I give up on charging my phone and a shove it in my pocket and put the adapter in my bag, which _was _very heavy.

I swing my leg over my window frame and run quickly as possible down the road to the main streets of town. Nothing open at 7:30 so instead I walk around trying to find something to numb the pain. I could always slam my head through a shop window.

Perhaps not. I walk around for a few minutes and finally find something that can numb the pain, numb it quite well. I hand over some money and he lights it up for me, I take a long drag on the joint before smiling at him softly and walking off. Beloved suppliers, helping us get through the night. Hopefully.

My head spins, dizzy as all hell, it didn't numb me it made it worse. I stagger onto a street bench and pull out my mobile. I clumsily dial Gaara's phone number. He picks up quickly.

"Hello?"

"Gaara,' I whine. "Someone sold me some bad shit, it hurts and he keeps following me," my voice is strained and I clutch my head angrily.

"Are you sure?"

"I think it's him, it could be the shadows, I can't see properly…" I strain to see the figure. "It's him," I finally whisper.

"Where are you?" he asks patiently.

"Outside," I squint to see the shop name. "The place your brother works… I think,"

He pauses.

"Please come," I murmur.

"I am,"

--

Yay for cutting off the paragraph before it goes over the T rating

Woo thankyou for the reviews, my computer really is giving me the shits though, so when it works properly I'll write all the rest of the chapters and put them on every so often…

Fluffy? Ne? What is it? I got two reviews mentioning light fluffyness and shit and I was like O.O ??? And lol people who got false senses of security from the cute bits.

"_What purpose do I exist?_

_Why am I alive?_

_While I continue to live,_

_I need a reason,_

_I exist to kill all other humans beside myself_**" **Yay for Naruto Manga. Gaara Gaara Gaara lol.

This is my longest story so far :O

**Ok brief replies/explanations:**

sad lil' angel- Okay, think back, she sleeps a lot because when she sleeps she doesn't feel, except when she's dreaming, hence the pills & and such. But apparently its getting better. False sences of security are fun! Oh and Also in chapter 5 "I'm so tired, I am always tired, I guess my body just wants me to fall asleep and not wake up."

unknown - Ahahaha Anonymous much, Thankyou for reviewing anyway

kristy1452- thankyou, your sweet … lol

super-rat – Apparently that's a good thing. Yes?

apolla101 – I should just update once a month and slowly kill you, but it'd kill me too. I hate not having review alerts and stuff in my inbox hehe they make me feel loved.

avatar-chik – Thankyou and I totally agree, I've loved them since I was little like and I went to Canberra for holidays :)

ray ray – Little… Rabbit? Cough thanks for the amusing as always review

jgirl1984 – thankyou I'd do the little less than three love heart but I'm afraid they don't show up on lol I've been deprived too xD 

twilight- Thankyou very much

ashes2thewind – wow ty so much

stream of tears – Yer I hate it heaps, no I don't do that review thing it's only taken so long this time because yer I hate to get a new pc..

Friesenator - Yay 100th review. And thankyou very much

Dreamers-never-die - lol thanks dina

Rockerchick731 – lol thankyou, and ty for the subscription to everything o.o

Thanks for editing Dan & Thankyou to Raytch for the help

**PLEASE REVIEW**


	14. Dead Dreams

"Stay on the line okay?"

"I don't have much credit," I state, pink surfacing on my cheeks.

"If it cuts out just keep talking okay?"

"Yes," The man had already moved along but my paranoia remains. My eyes look in all directions and I slump slowly off the bench and onto the pavement, pulling my legs up to my chest. After a few minutes a redhead stops in front of my and leans on his knees which were slightly bent. His lips flicker into a smile. And he snaps his phone shut before putting it in his pocket I keep mumbling into the phone and I look away from the person in front of me. His hand reaches forward to pull me up but I shy away from it. His smile disappears and his features soften, he kneels down in front of me. Gaara reaches his hand forward to rest it on my shoulder but I make an 'x' shape with my arms and hold them in front of me. He frowns, his brow furrowing above his dark rimmed eyes. He moves himself sideways and squats before slipping one of his arms under my legs at the joint and the other one around my back, and holds me around my sides. He uses his fingers to loop around the heavy bag at my side. Gaara slowly lifts me up and carries me in the direction of his house. I scream when he first lifts me and a thrash around trying to get free, his expression doesn't change and he doesn't so much as flinch when I dig my fingernails into his arms, bringing blood to surface his skin.

I don't let up the whole way to his house and when we get there he calls into the front window for his brother to come open the door from him. Kankurou's tattooed face appears at the door and he looks happy for a moment before letting his eyes trail from Gaara down to me in his arms.

"Jesus," I hear him mutter as he shuts the door behind us. Gaara carries my carefully into his room and lies me down on his bed.

"Whats going on?" I mutter, squinting my eyes to see him properly.

"I'll be back in a sec," he declares before leaving. I look around the room, confused as all hell.

Kankurou's loud voice questions Gaara as he walks down the hall back to me but he stops before getting to Gaara's room. Kankurou peers in at me a worried look on his face.

Gaara walks in with a glassful of water, and sits beside me, tilting my chin up, he lifts the glass up to my lips but I choke and half the water slips down my chin. His eyes are cold despite his calm almost caring movements. He sighs softly and brings the glass up to his lips and putting the glass down he opens my mouth slightly and brings his lips to mine so that some of the water actually makes its way down my throat.

"Do you need anything," he asks, wiping my chin. I hear Kankurou heave a sigh before walking off.

I stare at him for a moment, the water seems to have helped some because my head is spinning less and I can see, my soft shaking has subsided a bit too. I let my eyes drift down to his arms where crescent shaped cuts are dug into his skin. My left hand tangles in my pink locks, pulling at them slightly.

"I'm so sorry," I say slowly, softly, letting my hands fall to the bed again.

"That's okay,"

"No, no it's not, I hurt you," he half glares at me for a moment and I shut up. My mind wanders to earlier with my mother & all that happened afterwards and I grip onto the sheets, tugging on them. "I can't do this anymore," I murmur.

"You don't have to," he says under his breath. I look up at him letting my eyes connect with his, confusion written across my pale face.

"What do you mean?" I ask, his eyes drift to the ground, which he seemed suddenly very interested in.

"I don't want to do this anymore either," his voice is so soft I can barely hear him.

"Gaara...?"

"Hmm? Oh don't worry, just thinking out loud,"

"But-,"

"Sakura-?" he starts unsurely, but then stops himself from finishing.

"Yeah?"

"... Sleep," he sighs softly. I nod slowly and sink down and he pulls the blankets over us, setting his arm gently over me.

I slip into darkness and I dream again. I dream of the graveyard, and of hands covering my body and pulling me further into the darkness. I fall slowly into the pit of black and fall heavily onto hard floor, I pull myself up, and my eye catches on a face. '_I'm sick of this,_' it murmurs, letting its eyes fall to the ground. It fades out and suddenly a lifeless body on the stone beneath a tall building flickers in my head, screams of people in the crowd and sobs then everything vanishes and I wake. I wake and I laugh, I laugh because I have no more tears to cry.

--

That's all this time, sorry, yeah I know it is a very short chapter but I don't really care :/ dan was bugging me to write again. If you're on DA send me a link and I'll check out your site. Is anyone guessing what's going? AND LOL if ever you want to win a fight against a guy threaten to rite them a yaoi fanfic (lemon) . It worked on dan. I win I win Lol Ty for Editing dan . 

Dreamers-Never-Die- Your reviews are always fantastic, ty as always. THEY WOULD SO LAUGH!!

rockerchick731- Thankyou for the review.

Kristy1452 – I know right? Evil evil Biatch

Apolla101 - lol thankyou so much, good to know you like it 

My Broken Death Angel - "Cool chapter, it was pretty cool" Lol thankyou

super-rat – Lol WOOT Gaara plushie

stream of tears- Neither do I she's an asshole

shurikengrl – lol thankyou hyperactive one.

Avatar-chik – Yeah I got a new PC

PLEASE review 


	15. Suicide Notes & Butterfly Kisses

My laughing stops abruptly as two arms wrap around my stomach and pull my backwards. He moves his hands to my jaw and wraps his fingers around it before tilting my head back to look at him.

"Calm down," he murmurs, his voice almost bored. I nod as much as the fingers latched to my jaws will allow me before addressing him.

"What'd you mean last night?" I ask suddenly remembering. He looks a little startled.

"_That was abrupt_," he murmured, he sighed heavily before speaking normally. "What'd I say to confuse you?"

"You know what," I glare.

"If I knew I wouldn't ask," he glared back. I shied away from his expression as if he was going to strike me. "I'm sorry," He breaths out. "I'm not thinking straight, what'd I say?"

"'I don't wanna do-'"

"Okay," he interrupts, looking over to the door. "Go away Kankurou," he scowls, almost making me cringe again. The door starts laughing nervously and Kankurou steps into view.

"You got me," he said scratching behind his neck.

"What did I just say?" Gaara blinked curiously before looking away from his brother. Kankurou smiled at me weakly before doing as he was told. I pull myself closer to Gaara's chest and he relaxes a little. He pauses a moment to make sure Kankurou is out of earshot. "I meant exactly what I said,"

"But that means..." I trail off looking a little confused.

"That just means I'm sick of life,"

"Isn't that a little selfish?" I ask.

"I guess, but you can't exactly talk," he says staring at me accusingly. I stay quiet, and he just looks in my eyes in anticipation.

"I guess not," I finally mumble. More silence. I look away; his fingers aren't around my jaw anymore.

"Sakura?" he says drawing my attention. I turn a little and look up at him.

"Mm?"

"How... _badly _do you want it?" he asks cautiously. I look confused for half a second before realizing. But I don't reply, I don't really know how. How badly do I want to die, I ponder this for a second.

"I'm... Not, so sure," I say biting my lip, truly awkward conversation. "You first,"

"The only thing I want more is you," he says without hesitation. Under normal circumstances my head would go straight to the gutter. But not this time. I blink a couple of times before nodding slowly.

"Gaara?" I mumble slowly, my heads a mess this is so fucked up. He tilts his head sideways.

"Mm?"

"Have you ever seen CSI?"

"Huh?" Heres where I ignore him, easily.

"In one episode they couldn't get it, two people died the same way with the same bracelet on, just in different places... They couldn't get it because they ruled out the possibility of…" I pause, breathing in heavily. "Of a suicide pact,"

His face remains emotionless but his grip around me tightens.

"What… What are you implying," his voice falters for a moment but it strengthens when he restarts. I just kind of stare into his eyes for a moment and start nodding slowly. His eyes dart away from mine.

"I don't want you to die," he says softly. I sigh

"Try thinking in reverse," I say he looks back at me mildly confused. "You think I _want_ you to die?" I point out. He looks at me questioningly.

"I don't know," he says finally.

"Of course not," I smile at his slowness, but then wipe it away; you don't smile in the middle of conversations like this.

"Why do you care?" he asks.

"Because I can't help but care,"

"..."

"I try not to, but-" I shake my head to shut myself up.

"Because I love you of course," he almost looks like he wants to smile.

"The feelings mutual,"

"Shut up now," I dismiss him. He does as he's told. Well, for a moment.

"I always liked CSI," He said softly.

"So..?"

"Yeah," he nods. It feels as though someone just proposed to me and I don't know why, because I'm actually genuinely happy. And I hate myself for being so morbid. A conversation like this shouldn't be so light hearted should it? I guess that doesn't matter anymore, not really anyway.

--

Man I ahte this chapter D:

If you don't like the look of things don't bother flaming, this was how it was going to end from the start and I couldn't really care less what you all think. Just stop reading if I fucked the story up for you and make yourself an alternative ending.

Fucking screamo making me angry .-

Mmmmph, I'm back, I used all my downloads, sorry. I'm starting a new story very soon (In truth i've already written the first chapter, so yeah) I'll post it at the same time I post the last chapter of this story, which isnt to far away D: It'll be AkuRoku (KH2) please read if I do post it. Kay thanks.

Many thanks for the reviews everyone sends.

Kirsty1542- I guess you found out, hey?

Rockerchick731 – Hmm Thankyou Your very kind. And heres another short one D:

Panda-chan21 – Thankyou, I know what you mean.

Shurkingirl- xD Your a lil odd.

Stream of tears- I think he has a bit of a soft spot for her, maybe he just misses his sister. shrugs and yes, knowing gaara he does do stupid things

deformed beauty- Dark yet fluffy lol thanks I love your name.

Avatar-chik- Scandelous indeed lol

britbrat- I will let you know salutes

dreamers never die - lol thanks for reviewing (She reviewd coz I uploaded it and in an hour I still had no reviews and was getting pissy) thats a really awezome poems. Damn all the ones you send are E

A really really really really really good fanfic to read is Gin & Sin by archy the cockroach Its AKUROKU SEARCH IT NOWWWW!!! lol thankyou E They better update im craving it D:

**PLEASE REVIEW **

PS to the fan girls. its not fluff glare he's not meant to sound cute when he says any of it. Gaara doesn't do cute.


	16. Calling All Cars

A/N: I'd like to point out that at the end of the last chapter Gaara was still meant to sound a little reluctant about the idea. Kay that's all

--

An awkward silence followed our conversation immediately and I bit my lip in frustration, so hard I thought it might bleed.

"I'm going to go visit Itachi," I say, breaking the silence. He looks up from the bed sheets to my face.

"By yourself or..?"

"Myself," I say firmly. He doesn't respond, typical Gaara. He releases me and I get up and, scooping a jacket up on the way, leave the room.

"Bye," he mumbles. 

The walk to Itachi's seems longer than usual as my mind buzzes with the new information, slowly forming in my head. Once I finally reach his house I'm shaking violently, I don't know why, maybe from the sudden drop in temperature, or was that me as well. I open the door, not bothering to knock, and start yelling.

"If Haku is here and it involves indecent amounts of clothing I suggest you get dressed before I walk in," I call out, the neighbors probably heard as well.

"He's not here," Itachi said in a normal voice, he was standing at the top of the stairs, staring at me with a pained expression on his face.

"'Itachi-kun, what's wrong?" I rush, running up to meet him at the top of the stairway.

"I don't think he'll ever be here again," he mutters dramatically. I know it isn't true, they couldn't go a week without... _seeing _each other.

"Huh?"

"I hurt him,"

"What? How?" Itachi looked up awkwardly and I double blinked before it hit me. "Oh god, it's okay, he can't live without you,"

"Sakura, you don't get it I didn't u-" I give him a blank stare and shake my head slowly. "Right, sorry,"

"It's alright," I hum, wrapping my arms around his middle, standing at an almost awkward level due to our height difference and the stairs.

"Fuck off; I don't want your sympathy,"

I raise an eyebrow at him.

"That's a lie," I say knowingly. He just shrugs.

"Are you hungry? I was just gonna go out and get lunch," he says.

"Is that an invitation?"

He nods.

"Alright then," And I force out a smile. He steps past me and I follow him out the door and to his car. I didn't know he had a car. Itachi driving, scary.

He pulls up right outside the café Kankurou works at and I sigh.

"I like this place," he says ignoring me. "The people who work here are so friendly it's almost overwhelming, I really like one of them," Please don't say Kankurou. "It's sad though, he's not as bright as he was before his sister died,"

"Kankurou?" I offer.

"Yeah, you know him?" asks Itachi, voice emotionless.

"Itachi nii-kun? You know I love you right?" I ask curiously, changing the subject dramatically. He cocks an eyebrow at me.

"You want something, don't you?"

"No,"

"Oh, then yes, I know." he hesitates. "I love you too Sakura," Itachi practically kicks his door open and I follow suit.

"...Sakura is something wrong?" he asks when I don't continue my usual mindless babbling.

"Hm?" Attempting to make him the center of my attention. "Not that I can think of," I finish, lying through my teeth.

"Your shaking, you were shaking when you got to my house as well,"

"Cold?" I offer. He pulls open the door to the cafe and walks in; I shut it behind me and half jog a bit to catch up to him. "What're you getting, get something good Ita-"

"Sakura, I know what you eat, go get a spot for us," he sighs. That was probably a good idea, the cafe was filling up quickly and apart from a large 6 seater table there was only one two-seater. I cringe when I understand why; the photo of Temari is set on the wall above this table. Kankurou or Gaara probably sat here usually. I sit down and lock my eyes on her, she was so pretty, far more so than myself. Itachi joins me soon after and sits down opposite to me, placing a coffee mug in front of me.

"You spoil me to much," I sigh, taking a sip.

"You want me to stop?" He says smiling.

"I never said that..." I only half register that I'm talking now. He notices the absence of emotion from my voice and waves a hand in front of my face.

"What's going on Sakura?" he presses. I blink before looking up at him, mildly confused.

"What'd you order?" I ask, changing the topic, oh-so-inconspicuously. He frowns.

"Nice try," he sighs "I got us a large thing of chips to share,"

"Cool," I smile lightly, flinching at my own falseness. "I thought you had some sort of phobia about eating by yourself."

"Mhm," he says through a mouth of coffee, he swallows it and speaks again. "I do, I was gonna swing by your parents place to get you anyway,"

I laugh bitterly. "Why would I be there,"

"You live there," he smirks.

I shake my head.

"What?" He looks confused. "Where do you live then?"

"With Gaara and _Kankurou_," I emphasize the last word, only because Itachi knows him.

"You shouldn't" he frowns.

"Why?" my voice raised in defence.

"Because you'll get depressed again hanging around them... Not so much Kankurou, but Gaara--,"

"You know him?"

"I went out with Temari once," he says offhandedly, glancing at the picture above the table with a slightly hurt expression. "I know both of them pretty well. More so Kankurou though,"

"You went out... with a girl?" He laughs, I didn't mean to sound comical. "Wait, no I'm serious, you've been with Haku forever."

"Forever implies too much," He frowns at me. "And it was when I was younger than you. We are," He pauses before correcting himself, "_were _still friends before it happened, _and _you just successfully changed the topic again didn't you?" I just smile awkwardly. "Why're you staying with them?"

"Because...Gaara is my friend," Wrong answer, he's going to attack me now. I slip down my seat.

"Sakura, they are..." he pauses obviously searching for a suitable word, "unstable. They don't need someone like y-," he stops himself. "They don't need someone else to take care of, why don't you stay with that Ton-ton girl?"

"Ten-Ten," I correct him, he shrugs. "Because she said she hated me," My hands on my lap are balling into fists, cutting cresent moon shapes into the skin of my hand, forcing me to stay calm.

"Oh," he says simply, taking another drink. I cross my legs, unballing my fists and placing them on the table to make sure I don't start bleeding.

"Here you go Itachi," Says Kankurou's voice from above. "Oh Sakura," He says in mild shock.

He looks from Itachi to me then back to Itachi, placing the large plate of chips in front of us.

"I thought you were--"

"It's not like that," he says simply. "You jump to conclusions to quickly; she's like a sister to me,"

"Hey, me too," Kankurou smiles, placing the tray in his hands in front of him.

"Kankurou," Itachi says sharply, when Kankurou looks about ready to talk again.

"Okay, I better get back to work," he cringes before walking off. I didn't speak during the time he had showed up, and I took a chip between my fingers before eating it.

"You could stay with me," says Itachi helpfully, almost pleading.

"I'm not hanging around for yours and Haku's reunion," I point out.

He goes to speak again but stops and swallows his mouthful of food.

"That's not fair," He says, almost sounding hurt.

"Why does it matter if I'm staying with them?"

"It doesn't," he breaths out, sighing in defeat. "I just don't want you to--" He stops himself again, "I don't want anything to _happen_," he says, emphasizing 'happen' to get the point across, glancing around the room to make sure no-one was listening. I don't reply, I just keep eating.

"Kankurou," a voice calls loudly across the room, apart from myself, the only people who seem to look up are two out of town people. Everyone else, Itachi included, seem to be used to Gaara coming in regularly and yelling to his brother. On seeing his messy red hair I look down to the plate and stare at it. I don't exactly feel like talking to him right now, I wouldn't know what to say. I try to blend in, but my hair colour makes it hard to. Itachi looks at me slightly confused, then looks from Gaara to me again.

"Something _has_ happened," He says blankly. I glance up at the raven-haired boy, who looks so much like his younger brother did. I nod a little. He almost glared. "What're you doing?"

"I don't know what you mean," I say biting my lip lightly.

"You _do_ know what I mean," he says leaning back in his chair, only momentarily before leaning forward towards me again.

"We're not doing anything,"

"I didn't say anything about a 'we'" he points out calmly, catching my fault. I glance over at Gaara, and at the same time he looks at me. I dart my eyes towards Itachi pointedly and he nods, returning his gaze to where his brother stands. "Whatever, just don't, I can't lose you," Itachi says, I cringe at his selfishness. "I didn't mean it like that," he sighs, trying to fix his wording. "I meant that--"

"You meant it," I say simply, closing the conversation. He doesn't take the hint though.

"No Sakura, you don't understand. I've already lost two people I care about **a lot **about this year, and your one of the two I have left," He pauses, staring at the table. "Suicide-"

"I never said anything about that-," I cut in, he just looks up and glares at me sharply.

"It is about the most selfish thing anyone can do," he finishes, I flick my head slightly to allow my fringe to cover both my eyes, instead of just the one. I feel tears attempt to prick up in the corners of my eyes, but how does it go? '_You can't fight the tears that ain't coming,'. _Funny how well that song fits me.

I don't know what to say so I look up at him to meet his eyes. He looks like he's fighting back tears. It's hard to see him like this; he's always acting so strong. This situation's usually reversed. The food lies untouched on the table, and an awkward silence fills the cafe, I'm not sure whether it's just me, or whether they had just suddenly all stopped talking. A few peoples eyes are locked on Itachi and myself, I look around the room and see that it's more than a few, from sympathetic gazes to mildly confused ones. Kankurou has even stopped talking; he looks around the room nervously before pressing play on the CD player, breaking the silence. Everyone slowly starts talking again, though some of them are hushed voices. Itachi is right though, it is the most selfish thing _anyone _can do to _anyone_ they care for.

"You're right," I say softly, guilt washing over me. He doesn't speak though, probably afraid of what his voice will sound like if he does. I stand up and take an empty seat from a table beside Itachi I drag it next to him and sit on it. Leaning forward I wrap my arms round him; he flinches at my touch and tries to shrug me off, failing miserably.

"I'm leaving," he mutters quietly, so softly I can barely hear him; his voice is shaky and forced.

"Do you hate me?" I ask in equal softness, letting him go.

He hesitates. "No," and with that he stands up and walks away, leaving me alone. He hands Kankurou some money on his way out and mutters something to him. Kankurou nods lightly before leaning over to whisper to Gaara. The redhead looks over at me and pauses before walking over and taking Itachi's place.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice (as usual) lacked any form of emotion.

"I don't know what to do," I look up at him and force and awkward smile.

--

Man I fuck up some lines people said earlier in the story, totally doesnt fit with stuff. Oh well thats irrelevant. Can anyone imagine Itachi the guy who killed off his whole clan driving, It's rather a scary mental image. I feel sorry for Kisame during road trips D:

Song she speaks of "Y_ou can't fight the tears that ain't coming,'" _ Iris by the Googoodollz, or if you prefer, by New found glory, I like the Googoodolls version better though.

**Oh and about the last chapter. ****I didn't say that was how it ends so yeah. Haven't checked emails yet but I'm sure I have flames lol. **Edit: HOLY SHIT!!! No blatant flames at all a couple of "Oh well, it's your story,"'s Wow you guys are awesome (Hearts for all)

This story is almost finished if you couldn't tell. If you couldn't your very slow.

RayRay- lol, I'm not gonna even bother.

Senpaiidude – Oh, wow, Your far to kind, you obviously dont read much then n.n Thanks so much Hyuuu :)

Wolfie – Haha Wow, that was a fantastic review! Really though, it was, it made me happy lol.

Dreamers-never-die – Lol Yes please, your poems are the shit. I know very abrupt/short. But yeah, I guess thats just me?

Demona013 – Isnt the hole story 'a little morbid' ? shrugs And no that wasnt last chapter. Nor was this.

StreamOfTears - Thankyou for the review, yer CSI is rad.

Shinadesu – Human flesh quilt thing o.o Um Alright lol I dont have a clue what your talking about BUT thankyou anyways .

Hao'sAnjul – Yeah I agree. I'm like that too, so don't worry, ramble away.

Panda-chan21 – More recognition Yay

Super-rat – Like I said, if you don't like the way this is going dont read it kay :D

kristy1452 – Better this time? Sorry about that, just re-read if your confused, I guess.

Avatar-chik – Seems I confused a few people, But thankyou for understanding, I guess

deformedbeauty – Lol okay, if you think so.

Is it me or am I getting into a bit of a habit writing those responces shrugs & Wow that was almost as long as the chapter itself Lol.

Thanks to the people still adding this to their alerts even in such late chapters.

_**PLEASE REVIEW**_


	17. The Darkest Shade Of Grey

Playlist for chapter: Shadow of the day - Linkin Park, Tilting the hourglass - Alesana, Makeup - Escape the Fate, Iris - The GooGooDollz

* * *

He sits there staring blankly at me for a second, chewing lightly on the inside of his lip. I ball my hands into fists on my lap and he, hesitating momentarily, reaches out a hand and places it lightly over mine. I clench my jaw, tendons pulling tighter in my neck. I look back at the table cloth trying to think straight, that was all very confusing. It's funny how Itachi knows exactly how to make me feel like shit. Sadistic bastard. I look out the cafe's roller door (And more essentially it's window to the street outside) and at Itachi's car, a moment later it sped off down the street. I cringe at how fast it's going and look back to Gaara. 

"What'd he say to your brother?" I ask, my tone surprisingly bitter, though he doesn't seem to mind, I'm not sure if the change really registers to him either.

"Why don't you ask my brother," he asks nonchalantly. My eyes narrow of their own accord, honestly I didn't mean for them to. Gaara sighs. "He said '_take care of her_',"

I glance away, confusion gracing my features. "Why would he say that?" I mutter, more to myself than him.

"Because he doesn't think _he _can," Gaara said, shrugging as though it was the most obvious thing ever.

"How do you know?" I ask, almost suspiciously.

"I don't" he says leaning away from me in his chair, releasing my hand, which feels suddenly freezing.

"Then why bother-?"

"Because that's what it seems like," he says cutting me off, man I hate it when people do that. I bring my hand up to the table again and drum my fingers against the surface.

'_This time, its war," _an electric beat sounds in the background, completely ruining the mood. Gaara grimaces and looks across at Kankurou, dancing behind the counter.

"HERE'S JOHNNY!" he calls with the song; again most of the people in the cafe don't notice his sporadic outbursts. Gaara shoots him a death glares that says _'turn-that-shit-off-before-i-use-that-cd-player-for-target-practise'. _Oh but he doesn't we get a lovely dose of techno to 'lighten up the mood'. I soon turn the sounds off and slip into a mindless world, which is pleasantly blank.

Gaara must've noticed how inattentive I was because when I finally snap out of it he isn't sitting in front of me anymore. It takes me a moment to remember where I am and when I do I drop my head onto the (now plate-less) table. My hands are lying on my lap and after a moment of thinking about what Itachi had said I feel my nails digging in and scratching at the skin of my wrist. I stop myself by closing my hands around each other so I can't get to the flesh. After a few minutes I feel hands on my shoulders. I sit up abruptly at the sudden contact. Craning my head backwards I see, surprisingly enough, Gaara standing behind me.

"C'mon, let's go," he indicates to the door with a nod of his head. I stand up obediently and walk out the door, the walk is somewhat quiet. I start to shake again, and again it's not because of the cold. Gaara subconsciously wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, offering his body heat.

"Can we stop?" I ask looking over at the park to the side of the road. Quietly, he redirects our walk towards the small block of land. We sit beneath a small tree whose branches are hanging lowly, nearly touching the tops of our heads.

"Do you by any chances have your MP3?" I ask longingly.

"Mhm," he says pulling it out of his pocket, he hands me one of the headphones and after a few moments music is playing through my head. I readjust myself, leaning against his chest to become more comfortable _and_ more to the point, to share his body heat.

A few tracks pass, well it feels like a few but could be much longer. The next track comes on and my breath hitches. The riff is so easy to recognize from the times I spent wallowing in self pity and guilt in my room. Yeah, this had been our song, ours no one else's, and listening to it with Gaara made me feel like I'd betrayed him some how. His beautiful voice sings out through the headphones;

"_And I'd give up forever to touch you  
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be  
And I don't want to go home right now _

And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am _"_

By the end of the song my breathing has hastened so much that I feel like I'm gonna pass out. I don't no whether I wanna scream louder than ever before or just sob. It's confusing, both these emotions, Anger and pain, are so prominently brought out when I listen to this. The redhead behind me's arms slink around my middle, pulling me closer to him, he reaches one hand up and tugs gently on the earpiece.

"_What's wrong?_" he whispers into my, now headphone-less, ear.

"I-It hurts," I choke out, breathing even more sharply.

"What does?" he asks.

"Please, it hurts, make it stop hurting," I mutter quickly, shutting my eyes, Jesus, I'm so fucking pathetic. Look at me getting cut up from some old song.

"Calm down, let me help you" he commands, his voice still even and calm. I twist around, breaking away from his arms. I look him right in the eyes and grab his hands, quickly holding them to my throat. I twist my hands around so that his are gripping my neck. He looks confused and irritated, and tries to pull his arms away. My momentary lapse of strength allows me to apply pressure to my neck, using his hands. This isn't right, why am I doing this??

"Let go Sakura," he says, a bitter in his tone.

"You told me to let you help me," I say innocently, holding his hands in place. He's over reacting of course; all this amount of pressure does is make me gasp for breath a little.

"Well then I take it **back**," he says, pulling his hands away from my throat. I lean forward with his arms and smirk a little. I hear the low whir from the headphone still in his ear.  
"_There's no escaping you'll see, There's no escaping from me_." I sing the lyrics, releasing his hands, unwillingly. "Quite ironic, no?"

"No, what's wrong with you, do you have like two personalities?" he asks, his voice harsh. I blink a few times; he must think he upset me because he wraps his arms around me and pulls me to him, muttering an apology.

"I don't want to wait anymore," I say, a smile playing morbidly at the corner of my lips. And yet for some reason he smiles too. He stands up and drags me to my feet, our fingers intertwining.

"I guess we're good for each other huh?" he murmurs, I look up at him curiously. "We're both far past the point of saving," he smirks a little and it vanishes after a moment, he looks forward and we walk for a long while. I don't know where we're going, nor does he apparently, we just follow the path for a long while until finally coming to a stop in unison. We look at each other at the same time and he smiles again. "Kinda funny," he says, his eyes curving into a shape reminding me of a crescent moon. We keep walking tiredly, both dragging our feet a little. Past the tombstones, past the dying flowers on graves. I wave slightly as we pass Sasuke's grave, I don't know why, maybe to let him know that I'm okay. I guess. We soon reach the back fence and hop over it. They'd be shutting the cemetery off soon, its dusk and the sun is dwindling on the edge of the horizon. On landing on the other side of the fence he re-offers me a headphone.

"_You take my breathe away...  
but I'll never taste your lips  
as fate keeps me locked away  
I must close my eyes to see your face_"

Or walk is quiet, but not the awkward sort of silence. It's really nice. It's amusing how the screams in the background of this song sound so_ peaceful_.

"E_mptiness has darkened my eyes  
as I hopelessly beg for my life to end  
...tell me why...  
my iron eyes tell the tale  
heroes always pay in their blood  
I can be only this_"

I feel his eyes lingering on the side of my face when we reach the brook. I look up to meet his eyes.

"Shall we?" I ask, kicking off my shoes and socks, leaving my over-priced converse on the grass next to the water, I step off of the small drop into the water, only showing mild surprise when it reaches above my knee's. He follows suit, stepping after me. I replace the headphone in my ear _again _and we hold it between our two hands.

"_I see the fear growing in their lost eyes  
my purpose is so clear...I am the ax  
I am the ax and this is why I must not fear the end  
and when I'm gone will you forget me?  
pen wears its steady course across the page  
resigned to it's designs to take the hive_,"

Unperturbed by the water soaking our jeans and slowing our walk, we continue.

"E_mptiness has darkened my eyes  
as I hopelessly beg for my life to end  
...tell me why...  
I wish I could make you see, I wish I could make you see through the pain  
through the end, I wish I could make you see the greater purpose that I have to serve...  
no one else will fight...no-one else will fight...so I must  
my iron eyes tell the tale  
heroes always pay in their blood  
I can be only this  
...I am the ax...  
fear has been lost to faith  
the darkened night has come before the end  
of which we must prevail  
amidst the pitch of steel we shall arise  
I will destroy all those who oppose me  
my iron eyes tell the tale  
heroes always pay in their blood  
I can be only this_"

The song is stuck on repeat for hours, my legs drag through the water, my body reluctant continue, his too seems so slow that he may pass out. Understandable though. I have no idea where we are, we passed a few houses on our way here, cottages mainly, most abandoned. I don't travel and this is one of the first times I've left town but it doesn't bother me.

"Are we going anywhere?" I ask curiously, he glances down at me and shakes his head wearily. It is night now, incredibly hard to see, the small light from his MP3 marking our way, it has dimmed though, running low on battery. Similar to us. As we've walked the water has risen to our middles now, having to hold our arms awkwardly to avoid the music player to get dropped under water level.

He looks up to the sky and blinks tiredly, I look up with him.

"Can we go now?" I ask, double meanings intended. His eyes flutter shut but he re-opens them to look at me. I see him smile from the dim light of the mp3 player; he pulls it away from me and searches it for a song. My heartbeat quickens but this time I don't have a breakdown. He wraps an arm around my body limply and leans down to place a soft kiss on my lips. After a few moments he leans back slightly.

"Yeah,"

He searches my eyes for something; regret maybe, unable to find what he looked for he brushes his lips again. We drop to our knee's in unison and our heads only just reach above the water, he laces our right hand together, the MP3 player skips and jumps before slowly whirring to a stop, but the song still continues playing through my head and I barely notice that the actual electronic item has stopped. I reach an arm around his back, latching onto the soaked material of his shirt, I breathe in heavily and rest my head against his chest, submerging my head under the water in the process. My body is too weak to thrash around, to try and restore my breath. But it doesn't feel wrong; it feels right, right that my last breath was with him._ It feels, absolutely perfect. _

"_And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am"_

* * *

_A/N _That's all, that was the last chapter, finished. Done.  
Lyrics: Tilting the hourglass - Alesana & Iris - The GooGoo Dolls 

Thankyou for the support

REVIEWS PLEASE


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